#and maybe some how we actually mange to help make things better for some people who are suffering right now
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arrowofcarnations · 1 year ago
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O’Knutzy Week Day Two let's gooo
Posting a day late because *gestures vaguely* life, but it's here! It's happening!
Leo, Finn and Logan belong to @lumosinlove <3 Written for @oknutzyweek2023 <3
Day 2: Cooking Mishaps (A2)
Dear Mama and Dad,
I’ve officially been in the UK for a month, but it feels like longer. It is SO fucking cold. Hogwarts is amazing, but there aren’t enough heating charms in the world to make me like November up here. Can you send another quilt for the bed? One of the super warm ones Nana makes?
I WON THE FIRST TASK! Even Kasey said he couldn’t have done it any better. (You know how he’s student-teaching? He actually got to come here as one of the chaperones. I’ve got other friends here too, but it’s nice to see him every day again. It’s kind of like before he graduated, except he can give detentions now, haha)
I know y’all always tell me don’t go borrowing trouble, but the tournament is intense, and the second task has nothing to do with the first one. It helps to go into it with the most points, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna win or even come second next time. Doesn’t help that I have no idea what it’ll be, so no idea how to prepare. All we have are the golden eggs from the first task, and we haven’t figured out how to open them to see the next clue yet.
We meaning me, Logan and Finn. You know how I said we agreed to a truce and were gonna help each other get through the year? I think we’re actually real friends now. We’ve been meeting up most nights (yes I’m still doing my homework) and Finn’s been showing us all the best secret spots in the castle. Although honestly, we just end up in the kitchens most of the time, making tea or sandwiches or whatever. I’ve even cooked a little. Had a few mishaps because sometimes I forget everything’s in metric, but I made some chicken & rice soup last night that was pretty good. Finn said he’d pay me to make it again if he gets sick, and Logan had seconds even though he usually just wants sweet stuff at night.
Some people are kinda pissed at me for being so friendly with them because they’re "the competition" (same thing for Finn and Lo), but they don’t get how hard it would be if we didn’t have each other’s backs. All the prep on top of school is a lot, and there’s crazy pressure to win from everyone, even the teachers. We’re still all playing to win, but it’s nice not to be alone. And I actually like them, like outside of all this. You can meet them when you come here to watch the third task in April. Maybe they can come visit this summer?
I really miss you. And Mama’s food. And the animals. And being WARM. But I’m good, so don’t worry. Kermit’s liking it too, I think, but I have to keep him away from Finn’s owl. There’s no truce in their future.
Love,
Leo
Cher Maman et Papa,
Je vais bien. Je travaille dur pour gagner la prochaine tâche. Simone mange trop de tartes au poisson et ronfle dans mon oreille la nuit.
Je t'embrasse,
Logan
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ghostlyturtlewhispers · 3 months ago
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Today I had lunch with two coworkers and now I kinda regret it? The lunch itself was fine, I don't typically eat with people because it takes so long for me to finish food amongst others whether it be because I am the one talking or because I just am too focused on how I am eating. But I guess my eating habit made my coworker feel bad because she ate everything and them some super quick and me and the other coworker just ate fries for the most of the time to where we ended up jus taking the rest to go.
That's not really where I regret going, its more on the fact that all we did was talk about work and in the end due to all the problems we had all agreed that the management needed to be changed. Now I don't truly believe that, I actually really like our management they are just super stressed out at the moment because they will be having a walk from their reginal managers soon and let me tell you they are not ready in the slightest for this walk.
I mean who wouldn't be stressing out and sighing at all times at any inconvenience? I feel bad though because I agreed and even went as far to say. "If they can't handle the position then they should find another one instead" which isn't an entire lie, but this is amongst a group that has never been a manger and has never stepped into their shoes. I never have been a manager but I do have a better insight than most just because I have been around mangers my entire life and was raised by some of the best in their regions.
I did say that I didn't mean our mangers should all quit but I did leave that suggestion of maybe there should be some thought into whether this is still a position they are willing to have. Of course the holidays are coming up and I know that everyone needs a job. At this point if they are gone that leaves with a 50/50 chance of getting someone better or worse if not even less of a chance of getting someone better.
I know that there is a lot that happens behind closed doors that a lot of people do not understand. I just wish that more people could see both sides of the coin as I could and realized what kind of consequences there are to things before they suddenly get rid of their allegiance with their management. Somehow one of the coworkers believes that the manger is working for them, which to a degree I guess they are but also not really. The manger is there to do just that, mange the flock and make sure you stay on task, they are not there to do your job. They can help every now and again, but that is pretty much just when you need it the most and shouldn't necessarily be an every day occurrence.
I need to recenter myself and restructure myself to keeping my mouth shut on things like this. Honestly, they are just as bad as politics. I am a fairly new employee to this store and really should know better than to speak with my mouth wide since I am such an outsider. But sometimes the Aries in me just takes off and finds passion in the worst places. In the future, assuming I still can fix what I have said regarding this job, I will not speak on this matter again. Word may get out about it and things will become problematic which is the last thing I want this point in my life.
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sweetea-rosey · 3 years ago
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Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))
So here is my idea:
Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.
Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚
Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)
Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred
Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""
Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.
An outlet.
A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.
The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.
Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"
Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"
Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"
Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"
Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."
Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.
"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"
Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.
"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"
Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!
"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"
Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.
.
.
.
"Feel better?"
Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"
"Of course, let's go."
It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.
"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"
Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."
Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."
"We'll find it, Ree..."
"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."
"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"
Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."
Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."
"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."
"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."
"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."
Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."
"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.
Roman ignored him.
.
.
.
"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.
Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."
"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"
Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"
"I don't!"
"But...-"
"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."
"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"
Remus hesitated just long enough.
"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."
"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"
"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"
Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."
"Oh, Remus..."
"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"
Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."
Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.
"How would you know?"
It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).
"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."
"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."
Roman moved on to look in the next room.
.
.
.
A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.
"Remus!"
The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"
"I- no, Remus what is it?"
"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"
Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.
"Oh, thank Hades."
"Logan had it."
Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"
Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.
Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.
"What is this about?"
Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."
"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."
"It's alright, nerd."
Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.
"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."
Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."
Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"
"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."
"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."
"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."
Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.
"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.
As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.
.
.
.
"Just leave me alone!"
"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"
"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?
"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"
Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.
"Fuck."
He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.
"Roman!"
But he found who he wants looking for.
"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.
"Looking for my brother, duh."
"Funny, I just spoke to him."
"Where'd he go?"
"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."
"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.
"He was right, surprisingly."
Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"
"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."
And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.
"Remus?"
"I like you, too..."
Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"
But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.
Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?
Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.
@fireflyjunkie
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miwtze · 4 years ago
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bathroom floor (matsukawa issei x reader)
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cw: eating disorders, purging, its not angsty 
wc: 5.6k
dunno why this is so long but no beta i die like a man
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matsukawa could count on one hand the names of his classmates that he could personally remember. even then it was only the class president and the student council secretary seeing as they were the only two people that ever really interacted with him when he was there. on his breaks he was with hanamaki, in class his head was down, after school he was at volleyball practice; he didn’t really have a reason to remember anyone else. it’s not to say he didn’t try, people were just standoffish due to his large structure or wanted to mingle with toru through him. he simply believed it was a bother. that was probably until his first term of his third year when he was seated next you.
“matsukawa-san.”
“matsukawa-san.”
“matsuk-” matsukawa groans, shifting his head to the left in hopes of identifying the offending voice. he cracks open an eyelid, shifting his head to figure out who’s the one pulling him out of his nap; it wasn’t his mom or his younger brother. as his eyelids adjust to the rays of light engulfing the room he comes to the realization that he is in fact not in his bed, but rather sprawled across his desk and staring down at his desk mate’s tights-covered legs. “are you okay?” he whips his head up at your voice, wide eyed and rubbing the side of his mouth with the back of his palms as he scowls at you. not with any bad intentions but he’s willing to run the risk of looking like a dick if it saves him from the embarrassment of being caught sleeping in class.
“what is it?” you cock your eyebrows at him fingers to your chin, deep in thought. what did he say that was so interesting, he doesn’t know but he sinks into himself, wishing you would just outright laugh in his face. you don’t laugh. instead you turn around and dig through your bag pulling out a can of coffee and an energy bar, gingerly playing them on his desk.
“we’re both on class duty this week and the chemistry kits need to be brought down to class by the time lunch ends. we need it for our next class.” he stares at his wrist watch. he would rather use the last fifteen minutes of his lunch break to nap but he really didn’t want to forfeit the coffee or energy drink. not that you looked like you wanted it back. “i tried to wake you up earlier but you were kind of like a dead man walking. saying things like ‘five more minutes mom’ and ‘i’ll get up in a bit’.” matsukawa can feel the back of his neck heat up, rising to follow you out of the classroom and towards the science building. “figured you must’ve had a long night or something.”
“there’s absolutely no way you caught me fucking calling out to my mom. you should’ve just woken me up before everyone heard me telling me mom to let me sleep in,” he sighs, matching the pace of your step to walk next to you. “like, dude, that is so embarrassing.”
you turn your head and smile at him, he thinks it’s a little teasing but thankfully filled with no condescend. “actually for the most part the classroom was empty during lunch today, it was just me and secretary-san. everyone else went to go eat outside since the weather was nice.” you stated reassuringly, brushing hair behind your ears. matsukawa removes the hand he placed on his forehead with a sigh of relief. two people hearing him call out to his mother is significantly better than the whole class hearing it. “i don’t even think secretary-san heard you since she was on the other side of the room, but she most definitely saw you hung over your desk sleeping.”
“you shouldn’t call people secretary-san that’s, like, super impolite. also, if everyone else went outside to eat why’d you stay back? did you wanna watch me sleep or something,” he states matter-of-factly. turning his heel into the chemistry classroom making a beeline for the chemistry kits. he could still feel his neck burning, but he knows it’s because you’re digging holes into his back with your eyes. “or do you just, like, not have any friends.” you snicker behind him.
“you have to check the kits before you grab them; we need twenty four of them. also i’m not sure what the secretary’s name is. i was in a different class last year,” you say beginning to look through the kits separating the usable from the unusable ones. “and my friends got detention together and left me behind. some traitors they are.” you feign offense with the back of your hand to your forward and head tossed back. he notices a small beaded bracelet adorning your wrist, right under a thin gold one. you laugh at his raised eyebrows as finish separating the kits. he’s surprised to say the least, everyone in class one was the book nerd type who spoke harsh words behind whispers. at least to his knowledge anyways. he definitely didn’t think you would be this cheeky or friendly, especially not to the six feet tall monstrosity he was.
“why didn’t you just get detention with them. it seems more fun than eating by yourself, i think. i like to eat with my friends but apparently my dumbass fell asleep. i’ll probably get my ear chewed out during practice for it.”
“the most fun about doing things you’re not supposed to is getting away with it. plus i had to catch up on some other things so it didn’t make sense to leave and do something stupid just to get caught,” you say with a sly smile, struggling to mange the twelve kits you had split evenly between the two of you. he grabs your twelve including his silently, he wasn’t an athlete at a powerhouse school for nothing. “oh i see you are nice.”
“did you think i was some megawatt asshole or something?”
“maybe not megawatt, but, like, a twenty four watt asshole?” he snickers at that, following you into the classroom. “due to your kind act of charity, i’ll take it upon myself to take the notebooks to the teachers after school so you can head to practice early to get your ear chewed out, how does that sound?”
“absolutely fucking terrible, but much appreciated,” he says, sliding into his seat and cracking open the can of coffee you gave him. “thanks for this too, i’ll get you bread tomorrow during lunch to make up for it.”
“nah don’t worry about it,” you say, turning your head to greet two girls bouncing into the classroom stopping at your desk to complain about detention. 
true to your word, you diligently collect and return the class notebooks that day after school. in fact you’re so dedicated to the task that you do it everyday for the rest of the week, never once asking matsukawa or complaining to him. matsukawa thinks you do it as to not bother him. he’s not entirely sure that’s the reason though, seeing as you’re pushing your desk next to his to share his literature textbook with him for the third time this week.
“sorry matsukawa-san, i forgot my literature textbook again. please do some charity work,” you whisper leaning over to look at the pages. you frown at his notes.
“you don’t sound like you forgot, also don’t judge someone else’s notes when they’re helping you,” he teases, looking down at you redoing his notes in a more orderly manner. small neat writing surrounds his messy illegible ones, highlighting what to look out for on the next exam. you’re wearing a gold ring with a jewel the same color of your beaded bracelet, small and dainty stilling on an even smaller middle finger. he sighs but he knows your notes have been helping him.
“between you and me? i definitely didn’t forget, i just hate carrying that heavy thing around.” you pause to look up from the notes, to his face and then back down. “maybe i’ll have you do it for me since you’re all big and tough, or whatever gender stereotype will benefit me.”
“you shouldn’t openly boast about being sexist.”
“what, you going to tell on me or something?”
“no but what’s the point in having me carry the damn book around if you have to walk home with it.” he’d rather you just not bring it seeing as no one else in his class talked to him and the most you talked to him was when you both were sharing his textbook.
“i do believe that is exactly why i don’t bring it, matsukawa-san,” you say dryly, returning to your task.
when the lunch bell rings you push your desk back and say your words of thanks, turning your heels to skip to your friends. he watches as the light hits your legs and the tights you always wear stretch around your thighs.
dirty bastard.
he turns and flees to takahiro, who makes fun of the blush creeping up matsukawas neck.
on friday afternoon, before issei leaves for practice he places two packaged rice balls and green tea on your desk. you open your mouth to say something but your friend beats you to it.
“oh? what’s this? a confession of love?” your friend pokes your cheek with a baby blue painted finger and shoots a smirk through her long eyelashes. she reminds issei of someone.
your other friend, one with dyed roots and glossed lips, pulls her back giggling saying, “hey c’mon now! you can’t scare him away, but it is an interesting approaching seeing as most people would just give a letter or something.” you sigh, shooting him a withering look of apology.
“na-chan, aya-chan, you can’t say things like that about people. it makes them uncomfortable. sorry matsukawa-san, what’s this for?”
“doin’ charity work i suppose.” you roll your eyes. “you should show gratitude when offered something, ya know?”
“oh? so this isn’t for the snacks i gave you the day i caught you slee-” he cuts you off by pulling up a chair to your desk. practice can wait.
“you are absolutely the fucking worst.”
“since you’re sitting here, share it with me i don’t like rice balls much.”
“i have practice.”
“you’re the one who sat down.” he blinks. your friends have already ran off yelling things about a part time job or something. you open both the rice balls and place one in front of him. “i don’t think you’ll get beaten if you’re a couple minutes late, at least i hope not. i think that’s illegal.”
“you’re just full of requests, huh? i might as well become make-a-wish with the amount of things i do for you,” he says mouth full of rice, towering over you even after sitting down. you sigh between small bites of the snack. “what? you don’t like umeboshi or something? why are ya looking at it like it’s defiling your throat.”
“not to sound ungrateful or anything, but i unfortunately am rather picky when it comes to food. but since the great matsukawa-san has blessed me with a rice ball i will thankfully finish it.”
“you’re so fucking annoying.”
“oh but i’m just  too cute for you to let that bother you, isn’t that right?” you grin picking up your trash and grabbing your bag. “bye! i’ll see you tomorrow.” you leave before he has the chance to reply.
he leaves a couple minutes after you, heading to the third gym. he notices a pair of all too familiar tights-covered legs ducking in between the third and fourth gym. against his better judgement he follows.
dude, what the fuck. first you’re eyeing up your friend’s legs and now you’re following a girl behind the gym? get laid, he berates himself.
he watches the girl turn behind the fourth gym and he recognizes you by the charm hanging on the side of your bag. now he’s really curious. he silently leans against the wall getting close to the edge, but remaining out of sight. maybe it’s a really weird confession. he wouldn’t want to impose.
minutes pass before he actually hears anything but it wasn’t the confession he wasn’t expecting. sounds of you’re gagging fill the air. he has to stop himself from turning the corner and asking you if you’re okay, only being able to turn his head to look at you. fingers down your throat and tears down your face.
knot of uneasiness ties at the pit of his stomach as he turns and flees, knowing he saw something he shouldn’t have. the butterflies in his chest burden him knowing that he’s festering a crush on someone who hasn’t shared any part of herself to him other than her kindness. issei doesn’t like that.
after practice that day he stays continuing to abuse the gym floors hitting one volleyball after the other, trying to focus on the burns on his palms instead of anything else. oikawa and iwaizumi head out before him leaving him alone with the gym keys to lock up when he’s done. he doesn’t finish for another two hours and he only stops then because his body is about to give out on him.
matsukawa begrudgingly makes his way to the teachers room when he sees you fumble around, barely able to walk straight. his eyes widen when he sees you drop your bag and fall into the wall. 
“fucking dumbass.” you hiss and pick up your bag.
“hey man, you good?”  your entire body freezes, almost as if someone hit pause on you. he calls your name, panic creeping into his voice. “do you want me to carry your bag? i can walk you home.” when he goes to step towards you you swing your head back to face him.
“i’m fine matsukawa-san. have a good evening.”
he watches as your small figure, drowning in a big cardigan, stumble away quickly, never once turning back. he returns the keys to wall excusing himself, thinking about the chilling tone of your voice as he walks home.
he has no idea how to approach you after that, as the weeks pass by he avoids mentioning it, questions piling up in his mind. he knows you can tell that he’s antsy (there’s no way you don’t) around you, but you still keep polite conversation and share his literature textbook with him. sometimes you leave snacks on his desk, he always accepts them. matsukawas latest hobby has been lying face down on his desk during lunch to eavesdrop on your conversations. he tries to reason that he’s just tired but he’s so far deep he knows he’s lying to himself.
“do you think guys like clips?”
“i don’t think they care enough to pay attention to stuff like that.”
“really? i can't speak for dudes since i don’t have a dick-“ matsukawa almost blows his cover by laughing at your words “but i think they would appreciate a cute hair clip. especially on a girl he’s into.”
“i feel like guys should get into clips. i think they’d look good in them.” all three of them hum.
“wanna see if they do?” you say standing up, he can feel you hover around his desk. your friends giggle already connecting the dots, even he connected them. “matsukawa-san, hey matsukawa-san. are you sleeping? psst” you whisper close enough to where he can feel your breath on his ears. he stays silent. he watches your feet turn around, he’s almost disappointed.
“dude, he’s sleeping. you sure he won’t beat you up when he wakes up?”
“that’s a bridge i’ll cross when i get there.” you turn back around, thin fingers grabbing tufts of his hair gently as to not wake him up and pins them down. one. two. three. four. there’s two on each side of his forehead, he can feel them. “so aya-chan? na-chan? what’s the verdict.”
“his head is down we can’t tell.” your friend says, he assumes is the blunt one in your friend group probably the one you call aya-chan. he sits up. “looks like you’ve crossed that bridge though.”
“good luck, but i was right guys do look good with clips,” your other friend laugh, but before you can turn around to face mastukawa he grabs you by your waist and pulls you down. you end up on his lap and if he wasn’t too busy tickling you, he would question the promiscuity of his actions.
“you know it’s super impolite to mess around with people when they’re sleeping. it’s probably considered bullying.”
“ah! mastukawa-san! i can't breathe, i’m sorry! i’m sorry!” you can barely get your words out, getting get off between loud laughs. people look over.
“are you sorry?”
“yes yes now stop please.” he stops tickling you but still holds an arm around your waist, you make no movement to get off his lap either instead turning and grabbing his face to do a one over. “oh my god, na-chan you were right!” letting go to turn your friends, who shoot him looks of apology. “guys look super cute with clips on! hey matsukawa-san if you wanna seem less scary you should wear clips, not that i think you’re scary.”
“i’m always right, i religiously study fashion magazines. that’s why you two always look so hot.”
“ah thank you for your diligence. maybe if you studied your math textbook we’d be able to hang out this summer but someone has to do summer classes.” you giggle at your friends banter reaching over to grab your phone.
“hey matsukawa-san, smile!” pulling and arm around him you bring the phone up. he smiles and throws up a peace sign and take a couple pictures. “you’re being oddly agreeable with this. give me your line ID i’ll send these to you.” you hop off and face him.
“you just want his line ID.” of course you do, matsukawa issei is a complete stud and you want him.
“and? he’s going to give it me regardless of my intentions.” you pass your phone to him and he takes it from your hand watching the cardigan slip through your arm revealing bruises trailing under your gold bracelet. he catches you staring and quickly you pull up your sleeves to you palms. “look! sweater paws.”
“you’re stupid, here.”
“she’s not that stupid. she’s top of our grade, you know?”
“why are you bragging when you have to do remedial courses,” matsukawa deadpans, trying to figure out what to call them since he didn’t know their names and he wasn’t about to call her na-chan.
“oh, this is natsume and that’s ayasaki.” you say catching his frown as you remove the clips. he nods. “do you want me to get you clips you looked really cute with them. we can match.”
“should we get him sparkly ones? like blue ones,” ayasaki questions.
“oh! and some white ones? so it matches his volleyball uniforms?” you add on.
“absolutely not, i only did it because she’s cute.” pulling you back down, you melt into him. i feel so small next to him, maybe it’s because his huge. i like it. a lot.
“no means no. hanamaki would not let me live it down.”
“well would you look at this matsukawa went and got him a girlfriend!” it was as if he was cursed, turning to see the shit eating grin plastered over hanamaki’s face as he steps into his classroom. oikawa and iwaizumi behind, following him inside. “and you let her put clips in your hair? what a simp.”
“im not a fucking simp, i was asleep and she’s not my girlfriend.”
“she’s on your lap.”
“it’s a punishment for messing with someone that was sleeping,” matsukawa states matter-of-factly. he hopes hanamaki will drop it, but of course he won’t. it’s hanamaki.
“so who is this girlfriend-chan? is she cute?” oikawa asks circling around his desk to get a good look at you. he bursts into a grin and he says your name, your first name. hanamaki repeats it.
“oh dude you scored. good for you.” hanamaki pats his back, turning to engage in conversation with you. “do you remember me? i was in your first year class. we never talked though.”
“ah yes i recall you almost got held back because of your math scores,” you say looking up from your phone, matsukawa’s phone rings in his pocket. iwaizumi laughs.
“it’s good to see you again! we haven’t talked since, like, middle school. hi natsume-chan! ayasaki-chan! you three still together?” they both look up from the magazine natsume was pointing at.
“oh but of course. you and iwaizumi still married?”
“absolutely not i would never-“
“yes! we’re going on a honeymoon soon.” iwaizumi smacks him.
“it’s good to see the three of you, though. i didn’t know you went here,” iwaizumi says smiling.
“well that’s because your head only thinks about oikawa and volleyball, no?” ayasaki raises her eyebrows, you and natsume hum in agreement.
“oh my how romantic,” you coon. “are we invited to the baby shower?” matsukawa laughs into your shoulder pulling you closer. he feels you’re small frame, the bulky cardigan doing nothing to hide the bones he can feel brush against him.
“you know for a punishment you both seem to oddly enjoy yourselves,” hanamaki points out. “but, dude, you were super cute before but you’re so pretty now! what’d you do? cocaine?”
“not all of us have debaucherous hobbies hanamaki-san.”
it only gets louder between the banter of his friend group and yours, but he can’t focus thoughts piling up on after the other. when the lunch bell rings, matsukawa has a headache and it’s not from the noise.
“first of all? fuck coach for making us do two practice games in a row, like, i get it we have inter-highs when we get back in the winter, but this is fucking brutal.” hanamaki proclaims, feet dragging. “second of all, he’s making us practice tomorrow too. i might as well jump off the tokyo tower.”
“do a flip on your way down,” matsukawa says pulling his phone out to check his line. he texted you about his practice matches  and hasn’t been able to reply since then.
“you said it yourself hanamaki, we have inter-highs coming up. we want to go to finals and to do that we have to practice,” iwaizumi reasons, but even his voice is drowned in exhaustion. oikawa whines and begins to complain about ushijima at finals and matsukawa tunes out, having already heard this seven times today.
[you, 12:13 pm] good luck at your matches today, hope u win straight sets so u can go home fast. -w-
[matsukawa, 5:11 pm] only won one of the matches but both went into a third set im so fucken tired.
you reply immediately.
[you, 5:11 pm] bruh that’s terrible make sure to grab something to eat. idk what nutritionists would say but i’m sure they would agree with me  
“do you guys wanna grab something to eat?” matsukawa interjecting oikawa’s vent, raising his eyebrows.
“oh my god mattsun, you’re absolutely genius,” matsukawa shoots him a shit eating grin. “let’s get ramen?” oikawa finishes. iwaizumi and hanamaki nod in agreement, the three of them dragging themselves towards the ramen shop on the main street.
[matsukawa, 5:14 pm] you should eat too, have you had dinner?
[you, 5:15 pm] no but ayachan and nachan want to grab food before we head home. we went to a cat cafe today look. (one image attached) cute right >///<
before he gets the chance to reply he hears loud laughing coming from the street crossing on to the one the four of them were on down. maybe the day wasn’t so bad because you walk out laughing at something ayasaki said. he’s stunned. bewildered. whatever the fuck kind of emotion he’s feeling he knows it’s because you’re just so pretty. he’s a lot for words as he gapes at you, eyes wide like saucers.
“look who it is! hi guys!” natsume shouts, dragging you and ayasaki with her, your arms are all linked. he can’t move.
“wow, it’s you three again! you’re always together,” oikawa teases, jabbing an elbow into mastukawas ribs. “there’s your little girlfriend,” he whispers, matsukawa can’t even respond, he’s just so flustered.
“whatcha guys up too, anyways?” hanamaki asks when the three of you arrive in front of them.
“oh we were hanging out and we wanted to grab some food before we head home, you guys just get out of practice? you look so fucking dead,” you ask shooting them looks of pity. oikawa sighs, about to respond when mastukawa reaches and brushed your hair behind your ear.
“you cut your hair.” and it looks good.
“in fact i did.” a blush covers your cheeks almost hidden behind the glow of the setting sun. maybe i’m talking to an angel, matsukawa thinks. “thoughts?”
“you look gorgeous.” matsukawa can’t even stop himself. when he catches what he says he coughs and turns away flustered. howling shouts come from hanamaki, iwaizumi and ayasaki.
“he’s right though, you look delightful. we’re going to get ramen do you guys want to join us?” iwaizumi asks, shooting a smirk to matsukawa. he doesn’t even have time to be panicking about the situation because ayasaki, of course, agrees.
when all of you are seated along the L-shaped bar in front of the cooks, you lean in to speak to matsukawa. you both are seated at the corner next to each other which was done intentionally by hanamaki and ayasaki. “why are you guys slaving away at practice anyways during summer break anyways? does the coach have a bounty on you or something?” you’re playing with your fingers, watching the server place your meal down in front of you.
“honestly dude,” he stops to let out the heaviest sigh you’ve ever heard. “i think at this point, irihata and oikawa teamed up to put us through hell and back.”
“homie you completely ignored my question, why?”
“oh shit my bad. we’re trying to get to get to finals, you know? inter highs start up right after summer break and oikawa has a bone to pick with the shiratorizawa captain.”
“so you guys are feeling the fruits of his planned revenge?” matsukawa nods, resting his face in the palm of his hand. you shoot him a look of pity, reaching over to pat his head, his hair is so soft. “don’t worry i’m sure you’ll get your revenge, if not you can call out for your mom again” matsukawa’s face flushes and he grabs your wrists pulling you in.
“you. i thought we agreed to never mention that again,” he hissed under his breath, looking around to see if any of the other third years were eavesdropping. they weren’t. “i thought we had an agreement. i thought we were comrades. i thought-”
“matsukawa-san, matsukawa-san shhh! i’m sorry it’s fun to tease you. i promise i’ll make it so only i can make fun of you for that.” you giggle. “since we’re comrades and all.”
“i don’t wanna be your comrade anymore.”
“here take my gyoza and stop pouting, you’re cuter when you’re smiling.” you reach over and place all your gyoza into his bowl shooting him a blinding grin. “but that’s not to say you’re not cute when you’re pouting.”
“if i’m cute, what are you?” you frown, is he calling me ugly. he waves his hand through the air as if to will away your thoughts. “not like that. you’re pretty, pretty fucking cute.”
“you know, you sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.” you watch him eat as you poke at your own meal. he eats well, you smile. as the seven of you finish up your meals, you excuse yourself to the restroom. matsukawa thinks it’s suspect considering most of your bowl is full, so he follows you.
you know man your reputation for a full on creep is just expanding.
as he steps into the bathroom he seeks you hunched over, cursing spilling past your lips along with the food you forced down. you freeze, turning to look at him as he locks the door.
“i’m almost positive breaking into a bathroom is some kind of crime,” you state as if matsukawa didn’t just see you force yourself to throw up.
“i’m fully aware i’m not supposed to be in here, but i got worried, sue me.” you raise your eyebrows as him resting your arms on the toilet seat. he grimaces realizing you’re sitting on the bathroom floors. in a public bathroom. “also if you’re going to go to the bathroom as least lock the door.”
“it sounds like matsukwa issei already knew about this.”
“stop talking about it like it’s a joke.” matsukawa says grabbing tissues to wet them and pass to you. ”at least get defensive or something. i had my suspicions, saw things i shouldn’t have. i’m sorry about that.”
“don’t apologize you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m sorry for worrying you, but i don’t see this as anything of your concern.” you reach over to take the napkins from him, but he instead cleans your face for you. wiping away the spit and tears gently.
“wash your hands.” his voice left no room for argument, so you wobbled your way over to the sink and finished cleaning yourself. when you finish and turn to face him he lifts you on to the sink, trapping you in between his arms. “it’s not my concern but i’m going to concern myself with it. you’re hurting yourself.”
“so what, i’d rather hurt myself then have other people hurt me because of the way i look.” you're eyes are glassed over avoiding his and your voice is shaking, the raw emotions spilling out in contrast to your deadpan face. you guess that’s why you’re attracted to matsukawa, you’re both hide behind laid back personalities storing away a barricade of feelings gently stirring and building up. “don’t involve yourself with me anymore. i know it’s just going to be another weight on your shoulders. you’re too caring to pretend like you didn’t see it.”
“you don’t deserve that, there’s nothing that warrants this and you know that.” matsukawa sounds desperate, you know that he probably is. “i won’t let other people hurt you, i’ll protect you i promise. so please don’t push me away.”
“you’ll protect me huh.” you lean back against the mirror to look up at him. “what does that even mean.” he blinks.
“well actually i don’t know yet, but i want to figure it out with you. i want to support you and help you because i don’t want you to be alone in this, you know?” matsukawa was fumbling his words, he was nervous he couldn’t make you stay but he hoped to every god that you wouldn’t walk away. “like, i know i don’t know what to do, but i’m willing to try and figure it out. i know it’s gotta be lonely especially when your friends are bent over backwards for magazine models, and like, dude, i like you so much and i just-”
“matsukawa-san”
“yes”
“are you confessing to me in the bathroom of a ramen restaurant?” matsukawa nods, shamelessly. you think this is the most matsukawa confession to exist, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. the boy you pined over since first year found out about your dirty little secret and didn’t turn you way. he offered his and and wore his heart on his sleeve for you, who are you to turn him away. “i don’t know where we would go from here either, but i’d like it if we figured it out together.” matsukawa leans in closer to you, grabbing you by the back of your neck gently and pulling your face into his before you can object. when you break away your frown deepens, “you just kissed me with vomit breath.”
“it’s okay you’re the person i’ll kiss with vomit breath since we‘re comrades.”
“you shouldn’t call your girlfriend comrade, it doesn’t give me butterflies.”
“oh? so you’re my girlfriend now?”
“what, you don’t wanna date me?”
“oh absolutely i do. i’m honored to have the pleasure of being your boyfriend.” matsukawa teases as he pulls you down. your reply gets shut down by a wave of texts that blows up matsukawa’s phone.
[hanamaki, 6:03 pm] ayo casanova wya dude ???? are you getting your dick sucked in the bathroom that’s dirty she’s too cute for that anyways we paid and we’re heading out >.< stay safe muah
[iwaizumi, 6:05 pm] we left but you’re going to have to explain yourself tomorrow.
[oikawa, 6:06 pm] mattsun!! tell us about your salacious bathroom endeavors tomorrow at practice <333
you follow him out of the restrooms, leaning over to look at his messages and laugh, point to your phone which shows a string of messages of similar nature from ayasaki and natsume.
as you and matsukawa walk hand in hand down the streets of miyagi you can’t help but notice the butterflies blossom from the pits of your stomach exploding towards your beating heart.
“i’m thankful you’re the one who found out i don’t think i would want it be anyone else.”
“i wouldn’t want it to be anyone else either.”
as the twinkling street lights cheered you on, you stepped forward towards the future knowing you had matsukawa to lean on.
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magnumdays · 4 years ago
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Magnum PI - 3.09 - The Big Payback (the real review)
Higgy in danger and her boys doing everything to save her - check
Magnum basically going “let her go and you can do whatever you want to me�� - check
Miggy hug - check (OMG!!! It only took 49 episodes!!)
Rick getting a girlfriend - check
Angst-y Magnum about doing the right thing years ago because it got Higgy in trouble(!!!) - check
Juliet deciding to just squeeze in between Rick and Thomas even when there wasn’t really a place for here there...because of reasons - check
Adorable Miggy early days flash back - check
Gordon being all ’I might be a cop but I’m gonna be here for my BFFs’ - check
It’s like someone grabbed a bunch of my favorite tropes and just made a salad with them (or an ice cream sundae, because I hate salad). I legit just want to re-watch it ten times today (but I can’t because I have so much to do *grrr*.)
I mean we get this
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I’m not sure what to say because I just keep getting stuck watching the gifs for this over and over. Like come on, how can you be so adorable?
Still, I’m going to try to have some coherent thoughts.
So yes, obviously I enjoyed this episode. Even though it l def. lacked Miggy working together and bantering and being their normal adorable selves I can handle that when we get gems like Magnum just basically going ‘okay shoot me as long as she goes free’ and Miggy hug and Juliet being all “that night in the wind cellar was the moment I knew you were a good person who truly wanted to help people” at the end. 
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I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that Magnum and co. actually broke the guy out/ extracted him, though.
Like they did it with as little damage and blanks in their weapons but still....
Part of me LOVES that they were getting their Higgy back, come hell or high water but ramming police cars and using automatic weapons is kinda different from their normal rule breaking. Like maybe there should have been one more “are we really doing this?” from Rick or TC with Magnum being all. “I can’t lose her. I know it’s not right and I can’t ask you to-” “You don’t have to. We got you.”
Or more of an attempt to find Higgy? Like they go to the guy’s house and he has a camera, threatens Higgy and because the time is almost up they don’t do anything more about finding her. But what if they’d actually hedged their bets and told Gordon they’d manged to find a lead (but not how) and asked him to look into it more? IDK, I guess they were scared. 
Also during on of the phone calls I would really have liked a “I need to talk to her” proof of life sort of thing because at this point they’re just doing the whole thing and hoping Higgy is alive. The guy could have just killed her, planing to kill Magnum during the exchange, right? Right???
Also, why not just shoot both Higgy and Magnum at the exchange? That would have made sure neither one of them followed. I mean if I was the bad guy, that’s what I’d do. Or I’d shoot one of them in the stomach/leg to force the other to focus all their energy on saving them. It worked great in the premier so I really think if I was a bad guy, that’s the way I’d go! #evilgenius #missedmycalling 
I mean, I love that we got Magnum being all sacrificial, putting his gun down, and telling her “it’s gonna be alright” when they took him (I need gifs of that, pretty please! and her looking after him! My babies! )
But if we’re being honest, Higgy was right... not smart Thomas!
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Probably I if I was a bad guy (but not that bad) I’d just leave them both there alive with a broken down car. Like come on, Magnum had already told the Dad he knew he killed his ex-wife and thus the dad should not have wanted him along if he was worried he’d tell his son about it, right? 
So if they really wanted a hostage, keep Juliet. She’s smaller and not a Navy SEAL!  Even if she’s clearly resourceful (unsure how easy it would be to get info on her past as an MI6 agent, but not very I think, so they wouldn’t know just how good) she should seem like the better hostage of the two.
Whatever, it gave us Miggy hug so I don’t even care if it don’t fully make 100% from the bad guy’s POV! I just love it anyway!
Side note  - Juliet has her OWN horse????? I mean we knew she rode but...
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Do you all know freaking expensive horses are to keep? And like how little they bring to the table? Like seriously, Higgy, sell that gorgeous beast, be sad and stop having money problems. I’m telling you, horse vs. huge estate - horse is more expensive (okay no, it’s probably not I’m still kinda surprise there is a stable and an actual horse belonging to Robin’s Nest. I’m assuming the horse is Robin’s and like the cars she’s trying to keep everything without selling it but goodness, a horse? Rich people are so weird. It’s a very cute horse though...)
Next note.
I really like that we’re getting Suzy + Rick. Legit, it was on my season 3 wish list (for Rick to date a girl working at his bar!) I wonder if Higgy getting kidnapped was on there too? I should see if I can find it!
BUT...maybe they should have had one or two episodes more of them just being adorkable at the bar in the background before this. Mostly because I’m not sure this episode felt like the most fitting one. 
We got Rick going “I’m nervous to ask a girl out” while Magnum is all “My soulmate (who is currently dating a rich kinda- handsome doctor) has been kidnapped and will be killed unless we break a guy out of prison in 4 hours.” 
Stakes don’t quite match somehow. 
But it’s nice, getting another female character that might be semi-reoccurring! She and Rick (Zachary) are married in real life (?) hopefully she will be around a lot!
I also loved the whole: 
Suzy: “What are we celebrating?” 
Juliet (having been kidnapped and then watching Magnum get taken, legit happy no one is dead...except the bad guys):“How about being alive?” 
Suzy: “As good as any reason!” 
Over all I really don’t know what to say, other than this episode makes me question if I even need to keep writing fan fics. The show runners seem to be itching to steal my captain’s hat and sail my ship for me! And honestly, if we keep getting what we’ve been getting in season 3, I’ll be happy to let them!
Cheers!
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Also happy birthday to Jay today!
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bleedingspades · 4 years ago
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Beauty and the Titan prt. 1
Eren X gn Reader
Angst
You wake to find the walls destroyed, and meet a very strange Titan and like a fool you follow it.
Warnings ⚠️: season one spoilers, talk of suicide, parental abuse, physical abuse, blood, death, and body dismemberment! And this is unedited but I’ll reread and edit as time passes haha! ⚠️VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED ⚠️
Pain, you’re head feels as if it’s about to burst , open your eyes. Open! Please, please, please open, you beg yourself. But all your body wants to do is sleep. But isn’t that bad? Stay awake!
A constant ringing in your ears and the dull sounds of shouting or screaming, what happened? You feel someone step on your hand. But yet you can’t will yourself to pry your eyelids away from each other. As if they’re destined to stay closed for forever. You can hear foot steps run past you. Tired so tired..can’t stay awake
Darkness closes in silence hugs your mind. Peace
The ground starts to rumble, stirring you from your unconsciousness. Something else, then you hear it. A boy is yelling, shouting a name. E-eren.. yes that must be it. He’s calling out to Eren, whoever that is. But you can hear another voice
“We can’t die hear..can we Armin? You were the one who told me about it, that’s why I want to go.. outside.” Is that Eren speaking?
The other voice yells out for Eren to hurry then you hear a snap. He’s screaming now. You don’t think you’ll ever get that sound out of your head. You don’t want to open your eyes now. Afraid of what you’ll see. All that it sounds like is around you is death. Always death. Why is this world so cruel...?
How long have you been laying there.. feels like days. The chaos that’s happening now, can’t have been before the last thing you remember. Which is your father striking you for stealing a piece of bread. After that, everything went dark. If he’d fed you, maybe you’d have behaved. But that night it was raining. How long have you been outside even, since he struck you cold in the kitchen?
You slowly pry open your eyes. You can see the sky and smoke. It’s cloudy. You sit up and see a grey haired man standing ahead and he’s .. he’s definitely not a man. That’s a Titan. There’s Titans on this side of the wall? But how? Where’d that boy who was yelling go? Maybe the Titan got him. Probably got Eren first.
It looks at you, and instead of fear you just feel empty. So this is it? Ok. Better a Titan then your own father. After all he hates you for everything that happened with your mother. No reason to breathe anymore. Finally a release from this reality.
You stand up and hold your arms out to the Titan. You’d rather not die but what’s the point in trying to fight something like this. Born with a frail body how could you do anything? The Titan starts to walk towards you. Closing your eyes you wait.
But you feel hot liquid splatter your face. You look up at see a hand has broken out from inside the oldy Titan. The Titan falls forward, the wind making your hair rush back with force. The Titans back is rippling.. and tearing. More blood spatters on you as a Titan breaks out of the fallen one. Looking up at, you watch it as it roars. You can feel it’s emotions, how it sounds. So angry, and definitely not ready to die.
This is the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen. Are you crazy for thinking that? Yes beyond crazy. After all it’s a Titan. Behind you you can hear another Titan approaching. But you can’t turn around as you watch the beautiful Titian stomp on the head of the old one.
The steaming blood is dripping from you as it coats you with each lift and stomp. The Titan from behind you walks past you to attack the other one. It didn’t even go for you. None of them except oldy. You watch as the newcomer easily dies by the hands of the angry one.
After they’re dead the Titan begins to leave, you decide to follow it. In awe you run as fast as you can to keep up with it. Your lungs burn but you can’t bring yourself to leave it. You watch as it saves some cadet with a red scarf. Killing the Titans around her. A boy swoops down and grabs her bringing her to a rooftop.
There’s another cadet waiting for them. But you can’t hear what they’re saying. You just keep following your Titan. And it seems the cadets think he’s safe and follow too. You remember watching the scouts leave for the outside the wall missions. But your mom said they were playing a losing game. And she was right each time they came back with fewer people who’d died for a game they lost anyways. But your brother loved the thought of fighting for a world his sister could be at peace in. So he joined the scouts.
All that came back, was his hand. The ring he got from you for his birthday one year on it. That’s how you knew it was him. You were home alone that day when a captain by the name Levi Ackerman showed up. And said he failed to save him. From what you knew he wasn’t a very emotional man and didn’t do these types of things. But he’d been to a few family dinners. Don’t know how your brother got him to go. So you assumed he needed to give your family some closure. Or to help his own.
After that day everything in your household was dark. Your mother always laying in bed. Your father trying to do his best but ended up passed out drunk on the sofa anyways. And you, left to cook, clean, and do the shopping. When it came time to feed your mother, she’d always yell and tell you she wished it were you who’d died. After all you could barley mange to lift a full laundry basket. Born with unusually smaller bones, small lungs, and a weak immune system.
“Why couldn’t the useless one die” she’d say. Though you never cried. Because it was just grieving, that’s all. Right? And then one night she died and your father blamed you for that. And eventually it was your fault for everything. Levi didn’t visit anymore, which was okay. You didn’t want him to know how your father was doing or what happened to your mother. What if Levi hated you too if he’d found out.
Even though you know this Titan isn’t doing this to protect you, or anything like that. You just can’t shake the feeling that it’s special that it’s not just an abnormal. For some reason you want to protect it. It’s the only thing that’s ever saved you. Even if it was unintentional. This Titan has done more for you then your own parents, so you’ll return the favor. If need be you feel like you’d die for him.
You watch as he finishes off the rest of the Titans, then falls. I-is he going to die? You question yourself, no it can’t take him out that easily.. wait there’s a boy. Attached to the nape of the Titan. You see the girl cadet and the yellow haired boy land near him. They hug him and cry. For reasons unknown to you, you feel jealous. Maybe because you don’t have anything like that. The last person to hug you was Captain Levi. The day he told you of your brothers unfortunate death. But it felt hollow, like it was just custom. Not heartfelt.
You don’t even realize that your feet have taken you up to where they’ve brought that boy. From where your hidden you can see the lines underneath his eyes. But he doesn’t need to have his eyes open for you to know he was your Titan. This situation, from the looks of it they probably thought he’d died.
Then you get it, you remember hearing yelling. “Eren” that was the name. That boy must be Eren, he must’ve transformed in the belly of that old Titan. Probably for the first time in his life. He’s almost like a werewolf, you’d read about those in fairytales.
“Hey you what’re you doing here?” You hear a stern voice ask. You look to see a boy with mean look on his face. Kinda looks like a horse you think to yourself.
“Well?” He asks you.
“U-uhm I was..” you stutter, you can feel your cheeks are pink. You feel like you just got caught doing something scandalous.
“You should have gone to safety, when you had the chance” says horse boy.
“Uh I never really had that chance.” You tell him
The yellow haired boy looks to you, he recognizes you.
“Jean, I’ve seen them before.” He says.
Jean looks at him dumbfounded
“What, where? What are they supposed to be one of us?” He questions the yellow haired boy.
“No, I saw that they were laying on the ground near where Eren was- where he was.. eaten. I thought they were already dead.” He explains. You blush a bit, but you don’t blame him you’re sure you look incredibly horrid.
Jean looks to you, his gaze traveling up and down. He makes a disgusted face. Plugs his nose and backs up.
“Pew it really stinks.” He complains backing away.
“I’m sorry” you look down at you boots “I was passed out and when I woke up, a Titan was walking towards me and then, out popped another Titan. Then he started killing all the Titans so I followed him.” You say quickly. Keeping most of your reasons to yourself for why you followed Eren in the first place.
If the yellow haired boy hadn’t approached you he wouldn’t have heard anything you just said. You do smell and Armin know that smell. Titan blood it may disappear but to him it leaves a scent... of death.
“Oh, well are you okay? We should get a first aid kit, you’ve got some scrapes and such. Oh and my names Armin Arlert.” He says to you.
“I-oh .. uhm I’m y/f/n. And i think I’ll be alright, how is Eren.?” You say. You look to the sleeping boy. He looks distraught and anything but peaceful. Just pure exhaustion. You imagine transforming into an actual Titan is extremely taxing on his body. Especially if it was his first time transforming. What if all Titans are human or what if they were once, upon another time...
“I wish i could say it’s nice to meet you but under the circumstances it could be better. Well she’s Mikasa Ackerman, and that’s Eren Jaeger. Eren seems to be ok, though that’s right now. He’s in danger, all the corps will see him as a threat. We have to find a way to convince them he’s an asset to humanity.” Armin explains.
You keep your gaze locked on Eren. If they try to hurt him you’ll barricade his body with your own if it comes down to it. Armin is right mostly. Asset isn’t the word you’d use for Eren, but you don’t think they’ll be calling him a savior any time soon.
The wind blows lightly causing Erens hair to sway from his face a bit. He really is handsome you think to yourself. You wonder if his eyes are green like his Titan, and if his attitude as brave as the Titan. He seems stubborn already. You can’t wait till he wakes up.
Authors notes:
👌Okay okay okay this is a good end to part one right? To be honest this was going to be a one shot with Armin, which will happen but then I got carried away and started to dream a bit more for this. Hope you enjoyed and follow my blog for prt two in the Beauty and the Titan series. 👌
Please don’t forget to reblog and share! 💖
Don’t copy my work please!
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taegyuun · 4 years ago
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finally, the wings took off | pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3
genre: angst, fluff
pairing: sunghoon x reader
warnings: mentions of depression probs swearing
word count: 1.8k
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“ok this is a great start already! you woke up... 5 minutes before you usually do....” sunghoons voice gradually faded out from being happy to disappointed after checking the time.
a week has passed since you met the said angel and the whole time he’s been trying to “fix” you, his words, not yours. and sure, you’ve made some improvements like waking up at different times and... well that’s about it. sunghoon thought that after a few days or so, you’d gradually grasp the concept of normal life or something in your brain would click and you would’ve had some grand epiphany that the way you’ve been living for the last few years of your life aren’t normal - but contrary to his beliefs, you were nothing of the sort.
you were also very difficult to work with; and incredibly stubborn. you’ve gotten more accustomed to living with the boy but listening to him tell you what to do was not exactly very entertaining on your behalf. sunghoon personally thought that ordering you would be the best way to go about your little situation, considering your life is based on routines and authoritative figures that came from school - but perhaps his idea wasn’t so great.
“sunghoon, i already told you. i don’t need some ‘guardian angel’ or whatever, i’m fine with the way that i live my life even if it isn’t whatever you would call an avergae teens life. i know that. you’re just wasting your time being here.” you sigh dejectedly. you were secretly hoping that somehow you would mange to get out of this hopeless routine. it was often a pain, reliving the same day every single second. but you yourself couldn’t do it. you had to have some sort of help; sunghoon just wasn’t great at it.
“well no matter what you believe, i have to stay here up until you live a normal life. and before you say anything, even if i go up to the upper angels and try to talk to them, theyll just instantly send me back down, because believe me... i’ve tried it many, many times.” his face wasn’t the usual soft almost nonchalant look that he typically wore, instead he seemed more aggravated.
“ok then. what if i just live my life “normally” for a week and then you can move onto another person because i’m “fine” and then i can go back to living my life the way i want to?” you ask after sitting up from bed, getting ready to do your usual stretch before heading to the bathroom. but before you could even reach your arms out, sunghoon was already pushing them down back to your sides before speaking himself,
“y/n you moron, the upper angels aren’t stupid. they literally see everything.” he stares blankly at you as you roll your eyes at his actions before looking around your room and mulling over the idea of actually contributing to his work and trying to change your life.
“fine i guess. i’ll try harder this time.” the sound of his cheering almost made your lips form a smile.
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“so what now, huh?”
“well... maybe let’s go shopping? yeah i think that’s a good start. personally, i’m not very huge on shopping but that’s because i’m indecisive but you need to go food shopping and then we can go buy more clothes. y/n you need to start eating more various foods, alright?” sunghoon talks to you almost as if you’re a child, it gets irritating but you understand his reasonings behind it. you like to follow routines, and your routines have to be simple therefore he speaks to you simply.
“alright then, what food should i be eating?” you ask, genuinely curious.
“honestly anything but a balanced diet is the best,” and then sunghoon goes on about all the carbs you need to eat and what sort of proteins there are and all the other things that you already knew except didn’t own, or eat. as he talks to you, you’re already putting your shoes on and taking one of your jackets down from the hooks before quickly grabbing your car keys.
even though you didn’t seem like it, you felt excited for this new change. you were a complicated person. even though you had to have routines, you got bored of them quickly and sunghoon has somehow managed to spark some excitement into your life.
as you both walk down the block to get to your car, you get a few stares from the passerby’s. ok, maybe it wasn’t you who got the stares and it was perhaps the model that was beside you, but that’s just a minuscule detail that you could easily miss.
“sunghoon?” you hear a hum in reply.
“you do realise you’re really pretty? like, incredibly good looking.” instead of a normal reply, you hear a choke and then a fit of coughs. “don’t tell me you’re about to die from choking because someone complimented you? you’re an angel right? you’re meant to be pretty or something.”
“i dont usually get compliments from people alright? i’m not used to it, the most i get is whines from the higher ups or some old pervs trying to hit on me when i get some weird cases,”
“do you wanna talk about it?”
“there isn’t much to talk about, it’s not like they can actually touch me considering i’m an angel so theres nothing to ever worry about.” neither of you realised that you were already in the car, driving and almost at the supermarket. he looks over and sees your brows in a furrow, an obvious sign of confusion. before he gets to ask anything, you beat him to it.
“wait so... i cant touch you? like not even high five or anything? that’s so cool! you’re like... i don’t know, the things in movies- you’re like a ghost!” sunghoon was going to tell that you can actually touch him, only when granted permission, but your expression and the contrast in your voice from usual monotone and bored, stopped him as he instead hummed in agreement and softly smiled, grabbing a shopping cart and heading inside the store.
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you huffed as you set down the last bags full of food that you had either never tried or forgotten the taste of down onto your kitchen counter. you then started taking the products out of the bags and placing them in their correct cupboards or shelves in the fridge and some in the freezer.
after you were finally finished with the tedious job, you look over at sunghoon who was leaning against the door frame to your kitchen, as you beamed proudly at him. he lets out a soft laugh as he walks closer to you and looks at what you did to your kitchen.
“you see, look how many choices you have! all the cupboards are full and the possibilities you have with all these ingredients!” you’re surprised at how excited he seemed for you and your now discovered love for placing things away. “whenever you get hungry, tell me so i can teach you new recipes, alright?” you quickly nod at him as he walks off, letting his large wings appear out of his back. he rolls his shoulders and releases a loud sigh and groan, softly propping down onto your couch.
“yeah, why do you even do that? y’know... keep your wings in. isn’t it painful?” you ask as you walk closer to him, before sitting down onto the seat next to the angel.
“i wouldn’t say it necessarily hurts but it’s more like when you sit in one position too long and then you stand up and stretch. i have to do it so i don’t make myself invisible and make you look like you’re a fool speaking to yourself.”
“then... whenever we don’t go out, just have them out! whenever we’re here alone just leave them how they are, let your back rest.”
“i think that’s a good idea,” he then softly smiles at you as his arms extend across the back of the couch, before letting his head roll back and fall onto the the soft cushioning below
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more weeks pass, and it has finally reached the mark of sunghoon being your gurdian angel for almost 4 months. you’ve changed an indescribable amount - it occurred to you after a deep talk with sunghoon that routines bored you, but you simply didn’t know what to do with yourself and how to live your life.
you were honestly glad to meet the guardian angel.
you now went out at random times simply for your own will, and you cooked different recipes almost everyday - trying new food constantly. you changed your style and did a whole 180. but sunghoon didn’t want you to completely change, he only wanted you to live like a teen. so, he obviously let you keep certain things the way you liked it; the days you did your laundry or which days you went shopping.
it was nice having him around.
but, the dreaded question had to be asked.
“sunghoon... are you going to leave soon?” you quietly asked, as you went out to latch onto his sweatshirt - another thing you learnt which you could do, only with his consent.
“i’m not sure, y/n. but why ask?” he stopped stirring his coffee with the tea spoon and instead looked down at you with a confused expression.
“it’s just... aren't guardian angels meant to only stay till their case is better? i mean, you’ve figured out why my chart was empty and now i live how i should've lived all along. is there anything you can even do now?”
and then it was silent. it didn’t even occur to the boy that he had completed his task. he had nothing else to do in the human world that was correlated to you. he plainly had no reason to stay, even if he wanted to.
“... do... do you want me to leave?” you almost tug at his arm in anger at the stupid question.
“are you insane? of course i don’t want you to leave! you’re the one who made me finally feel happy, there- there must be a way you could stay... right? or do you want to go?” now it was sunghoons turn to latch onto your arm in disbelief.
“why would i want to leave? i love it here, y/n. being here with you completely changed my life. i’m not chained to some random criminal and i don’t have a crap ton of responsibilities that i couldn’t care less about, it’s literally heaven down here for me... ironic i know, but it is! if i could stay, i promise you, i would.” during his words, his hands moved up from holding onto your arm to cupping your face in his warm and gentle hands. you leant into his touch, with a coil of unfortune building up in your stomach; as if your body knew this might have been the last times you’d feel his soft touch.
“sunghoon please... don’t leave me.”
“i’ll stay for as long as possible, even if it means my wings are taken off.”
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scullyverse · 4 years ago
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Chicken and Cheese
Prompt by anon;
“It’s because I’m so attractive isn’t it?" - “I say this, and I cannot stress this enough, I find you completely repulsive"
Thank you so much for your prompt. I had fun writing this one with putting a bit of a humorous take on it.
Also available to read on ao3
Scully is struggling at work and Mulder takes her out for lunch to help her feel better.
Mulder/Scully || Miscellaneous || 2.5k words || Rating G
Sighing, Scully sunk back into her office chair, removing her glasses from off her nose in frustration, chucking them onto the desk. She as getting annoyed at herself with having to stare at the same few sentences over and over again on the paper in front of her, her head pounding, eyes unfocused. Since her cancer diagnosis she found it harder to read and write for long periods of time due to the strain it put on her eyes. They had returned from a case early this morning and had spent the majority of the rest of the day completing the relevant paperwork and reports. Though as the hours ticked on Scully could feel her eyes begin to protest and the pounding headache creeping up on her, getting more intense as she tried to push herself through it. Pinching the bridge of her nose she closed her eyes willing her eyes to focus again so she could just finish the little paper work she had left before she clocked out for the day. Scully wasn’t one to let herself be tardy on paperwork, and there was only a little bit left to do.
“I could finish it if it’s too much for you Scully”
Opening her eyes again, she looked across their single desk towards Mulder, his eyes staring right into hers, soft and kind. As much as she hated the way people looked at her now, like she was so fragile, Mulder didn’t look at her that way. From the moment she had gotten her diagnosis he had been there, steady and supportive. Sure she could tell his concern as always there, it crept up in his eyes every so often, but he wouldn’t treat her like she was glass that needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap in case it shattered. Mulder still treated her with the respect for her independence like he always did. It was a breath of fresh air.
“No, it’s okay. I just need a break for a few minutes, just a small headache” Scully gave him a small smile, hiding the grimace as another wave of pain hit her head. She wouldn't admit to him that it felt like her eyes were splitting inside her head because what she said was the truth. She had gotten used to the headaches and the blurriness of her eyes that came with it these past few weeks and with a small break she would be able to continue to finish the report she was working on. Besides it would have to be something she would have to learn to push through if she wanted to keep her job for as long as she could, it wasn’t like it was going to get any better. And she needed it because it kept her busy and not focusing on the fact that this cancer was killing her from the inside out.
Mulder put his own glasses down onto the desk, his report momentarily forgotten as he gave her a little smile in return, though it didn’t meet his eyes. He could tell she was in pain but he didn’t want to push her too hard. Scully had always been so independent and strong that the fact that she would eventually lose both of those things caused a frustrated tension to rest just below her skin that Mulder picked up on and his worry for her wouldn’t give her any comfort he was sure of that. So he would be there for her to keep a constant source of normality for her if she needed.
“We haven’t had anything to eat in a few hours, how about we go grab something?” Mulder looked at the clock on the wall and noticed it was way past lunch but they still had a little bit over an hour before they clocked out and they were both nearly finished their reports anyway. “We have some time to kill. It might help with the headache”
Scully nodded as she rubbed under her eyes. Maybe some fresh air would help her after they had spent the majority of the day cooped up down in their basement office. Even though she knew her headache wasn’t the result of low blood sugar she would go with him and eat if it helped to put his mind at ease a little. Mulder got up from the desk as he grabbed his suit jacket that was hanging over the back of his chair, putting it on, Scully standing up too, settling her pen down next to her report.
“Did you want to go to that little place on the corner? That has those mean sandwic-“
Mulder stopped talking when he heard a groan of frustration and looked up to see two small blood drops on the white pages of the report Scully had been working on. Looking up further he saw Scully quickly press a tissue to her nose, tilting her head back slightly. “Dammit” Scully muttered under her breath. Mulder wanted to rush over there to wrap her in his arms but he stopped himself. Every time he had worried about the nose bleeds in the past she would snap at him in anger. He now knew that she didn’t need his coddling. He would be there when she needed him and he would make sure he didn’t mess up the trust she had put in him but acting as concerned as he felt. Mulder just walked over to her side of the desk, pulling a couple of tissues out of the box next to her report and gave her one, her eyes dropping from his as she changed the tissues, pulling it away after she realised the blood flow had all but stopped. Mulder used the rest of his tissues to gently dab at the paper, making sure not to smudge her writing on the page. She would probably insist on re writing it now anyway, but he would try to get her to not worry about it. The drops hadn’t been big and it wasn’t as messy as when it had happened in the past.
Scully watched him with a tug at her chest as she gave her nose one more touch with the tissue to make sure it had stopped before she tucked the bloody tissues into her hand. “Let me just go wash up before we go. A sandwich would be nice” Excusing herself, Scully walked out of the office and into the toilet block at the end of the hallway, checking herself in the mirror to make sure she didn’t have any blood on her skin or clothes. When she was happy that she didn’t see any blood on her shirt, she quickly splashed some water on her face before she studied her appearance, cleaning up under her nose as she threw the dirty tissues into the waste basket under the sink and made her way back towards their office, Mulder standing outside holding her jacket in his arms.
“Your jacket my lady” Mulder outstretched his arm with a flourish. Scully rolled her eyes, a smile breaking on her lips at how much of a dork he was. This was how she liked it. He didn’t make a fuss over her like everyone else and just kept everything normal. It was what she needed. She knew that pushing her cancer under the rug to deal with later wouldn't be a viable option forever, but while she could do it she would. Going to grab her jacket she smiled a little more when he placed it on her shoulders, helping her get it on. Looking up at him with suspicious eyes he just patted her shoulders, lingering there a little longer than normal before he gave them a squeeze. He didn’t say anything, but she knows this was his way of making sure she was okay. Her smile warmed as she gave a nod, which was enough for him to nod in return and walk down the hallway, his hand on her lower back like always as he called the elevator.
“Please tell me you are actually going to order a sandwich this time? I know you love your salads Scully but their chicken and cheese is like an orgasm in your mouth” Mulder joked as the elevator dinged, the doors opening. Scully laughed as she stepped inside, pushing the button to the ground floor as she looked over to him, crossing her arms over her chest. “An orgasm in your mouth, really Mulder?” She tried to dead pan but couldn’t hide the smirk on her lips.
“I swear to god Scully.” Putting his hands up defensively he return her smile. “The way the cheese melts and that sauce they use is just heavenly”
The elevator doors dinged again as it opened to the hustle and bustle of the ground floor as they stepped out, walking side by side through the room on their way towards the exit, Scully just shaking her head slightly as he rambled on and on about the sandwich.
Stepping outside, Scully paused slightly as she closed her eyes against the sun, feeling another pulse of pain hit her eyes before she took a deep breath, sucking in the slightly cool clear air. Feeling a hand on her lower back once more, she opened her eyes as she looked up at Mulder, his sunglasses in his other hand in front of her. “Thanks” Scully whispered as she put them on, taking relief when the sun wasn’t so bright in her eyes. “Well I might just have to try this orgasmic sandwich after all”
Mulder broke out into a grin as they walked together to the little deli store on the corner. Once inside Mulder ordered them both a chicken and cheese sandwich, Mulder ordering a glass of soda for himself and a glass of water for Scully upon her request. Placing the sunglasses on the table, Scully removed her jacket and put it on the back of the chair as Mulder did the same before they settled down onto the table set for two. Once their sandwich’s arrived Scully watched as Mulder all but began to devour his first half. Looking down at her own she had to admit that it did look pretty amazing. Her stomach flipped with a little pang of nausea as another wave of pain hit her head. She didn’t really feel all that hungry after her little episode in their office, but Mulder had bought it for her so she would at lease try to eat a little bit, she was sure she could mange that. By the time Scully had brought a half of her sandwich to her lips to take the first bite, Mulder had already finished one half and was going to start on the second, a bit of sauce gathered in the corner of his lips.
Scrunching her nose up slightly, Scully began to eat her sandwich with an impressed hum of approval. It did taste pretty damn good, she just wished she was hungry enough to appreciate it more. Mulder looked at her and licked his lips, cleaning them as he raised his eyebrows. “It’s good right?” He said, swallowing his mouthful. “Orgasm in the mouth” He returned to his half as he watched her, watched how she only ate a few bites, barely getting through the first half of her sandwich before he could tell she mustn’t be feeling the best because her cheeks became a little whiter and her bites became slower and slower. He hadn’t realised he was starting until he felt the filling of his sandwich hit his plate and shirt with a noise. Looking down he gave a pout, seeing some white sauce on the front of his shirt. Grabbing his napkin he began cleaning up as Scully watched him with a smirk. “Are you always this messy around your dates?”
Mulder gave a laugh as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully, placing his napkin back down to the table, Mulder was pleased with himself that the evidence was mostly gone from his shirt now. “Oh come on Scully, I take you to this nice place, buy you an orgasmic sandwich and everything, still not good enough for you? So fussy” His voice was teasing as he looked down at his shirt with a satisfied gesture. “Besides you can’t even see that anything had happened no, couldn’t get any more cleaner for you.”
Chuckling, Scully put her sandwich back to her plate as she rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her water, her eyes falling to this shirt, still seeing the slight discolouration but decided to say nothing. Putting her glass back down to the table she raised her eye brow. “I’m so impressed” She sarcastic replied, her lips curling into a smile. “My mother would be so happy that I found someone so....able to clean himself.”
Mulder laughed as he took a drink from his soda, before he gave her a playful smouldering look, causing her to grimace awkwardly, a laugh escaping her lips, a little bit of colour returning to her cheeks. Mulder gave her a wink as he leaned forwards slightly. “You can tell me the truth Scully, why your mother would be happy” His lips curling into a smirk “...It’s because I’m so attractive isn’t it?”
Scully gave a sharp laugh before she pushed him back into his chair with a playful shove, her hand going to cover her mouth as she felt her shoulders shake as she laughed. Mulder fell back into his chair as he nodded to himself, his eyes twinkling with playfulness and happiness, seeing her laugh so carefree, especially after what had happened earlier. He would do anything to make her laugh. Scully slowed her laughter down to a giggle before she reached out to grip his hands, giving them a slight pat as she looked into his eyes, a sudden serious look on her face. “I say this Mulder and I cannot stress this enough. I find you completely repulsive”
Mulder felt his smile falter for a moment before he saw the same playful twinkle in her eyes as her face broke out into a grin. “I’m kidding Mulder....” She had seen the look of heartbreak in his eyes for a split second and she felt herself having to apologise in some way. “...I don’t find you completely repulsive” She joked as she sat back in her chair, her hands resting back in her lap and her lips in a soft smile, her headache and nausea returning slightly. Pushing her plate forward she gave Mulder a little tilt of her head. “Go ahead and finish mine, I’m full.”
Reaching forward to pull the plate closer he took note of the grimace in her eyes again and gave her a smile. “Thanks Scully. Are you sure you’ve have enough?”
Scully nodded again with a soft smile as she sat back in her chair, her stomach settling down a little bit at the thought of her not eating anything more. Her head ache throbbed again behind her eyes but it wasn’t as bad as it had been back at their office. It had been nice to get out and spend some time with Mulder away from the stuffiness of their office and without the pressure of a case. It was exactly what she needed.
“I’m sure”
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happypeachwhispers · 4 years ago
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Fries Meet Guys: ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN - I DIDN'T THINK I WAS A PERSON WHO SHOULD TALK ABOUT ANXIETY - Part One: Childhood, Parenting, Socializing
Just a couple words about this work of labor, thank you to everyone who encouraged me, helped me and believed in this translation project. Some parts were more hard than others to make sense of, I appreciate some input if you feel so inclined. It will be posted in five parts, weekly. I really did my very best. Enjoy!
Taglist: @ivarsrideordie
We invited you to the studio today, because we would like to be a little wiser about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a man to you. But for a start, we just have some classic questions. What's your name? How old are you?
Hi, my name is Alex. I'll be 25 this summer, I was born in '94. I come from a small town called Skælskør in West Jutland.
What is your profession?
I am an autodidact actor.
And what is your favorite song?
All the songs by Frank Ocean.
What's your favorite movie?
I simply can't answer that. But I talked to a friend today, we watched In Bruges, a movie with Colin Farrell and it was fucking fun.
What's your favorite dish?
It was chicken thighs for a long time, when I was a kid I liked them cooked in the oven for 25/30 minutes at 200 Celsius degrees. You put a little bit of salt on, and then they are ready, mouthwatering and delicious. But not my favorite anymore, today I'd probably say sushi.
We have given homework to Alex, we asked him to think about the word man and now we are very curious to hear what his thoughts are and what he came up with.
I was thinking of a hell of a lot of things, and at the same time, I was thinking zero things. I think it's so hard to talk about this and to feel that you are somehow obligated to talk about it, but I manged to write something down. So I should be able to talk about this. But it is so hard to feel that one has to generalize in any way. But you shouldn't, really. You can only answer for yourself.
When I come to think of a meaning of the word man, I come to think that I couldn't help but imagine some American culture that we all seem to follow blindly that's based on having the coolest clothes and going to clubs to hook up. Or you just see them wanting to be basketball players and driving sports cars. It's either rappers, basketball players or actors. I wasn't a great guy at all and I was heavily influenced by it, but then I came to realize it's not for me. It's not supposed to be like that at all.
So what's the kind of man that gives priority to those things?
The very first thing that comes to my mind is that they are drawn to that lifestyle cause it means having a lot of money, high status and living without a care in the world. You're a breadwinner. Instead I often worry in terms of where I am here in Copenhagen in 2019 and the group of friends I have here and with whom I spend my time with.
So there have been some people in your life, who have been carefree motherfuckers.
Both things. But I like to go to my dad right away and he is not a carefree person at all. But he is also not a man who has struggled with some of the things that I struggled with. Fighting with anxiety for example. And as I know many of my friends struggle with men but as women. And that's it. My dad says he doesn't know about it because he's from a different generation or maybe I've just been unlucky. He never experienced any of that. Before he could worry, he was a grown man who had to support his family. He has had the same job for 25 years now and then goes home, works in the garden, cuddles with my mother and travels around the world and then comes back home. But I would also say that he has not been very manly, he is actually quite soft many times. I can remember my little sister's confirmation where he was supposed to give a speech but didn't get through it, he was feeling emotional. Mom always keeps a watchful eye on him, especially when he talks about breast cancer and what she has been through.
You described your father as the example of a man you saw growing up, but that was your experience as a boy. What did it mean to you growing up? How did that shape the man you are today?
I think my dad has given me a lot of really cool stuff. His presence in my life gave me a lot. His sense of humor first of all, because he's one of the funniest people I know, and he can definitely be funny on a bad day, too. I love him. I hope my sense of humor is as funny as his. Also he has always been really good at taking things easy. So even when it gets tough, he helps heal all the wounds. He was a very important presence in my life, he has being a really good father and I always think of my dad as the primary example of a man. Even the soft side of my dad. When I talked to him and had heart to heart conversations, he showed me his vulnerable side. And I learned that being vulnerable is ok. That's a really good thing, I think. There has always been room for me, to express myself. He hasn't been one of those patriarchal fathers in a carnally old society, so out of touch and never talking to the children.
But what has it meant to you to have such a father? Where was there room for you or your feelings?
It meant everything in the whole world. He has always been an example. He was supportive of my dreams and  has always been there for me. When I started to do theater, he drove me from Skælskør to Copenhagen from the age of 11 to 17. So six years, where my dad comes and picks me up after work, he picks me up in the afternoon after I finish school or high school. And then he drives me to Copenhagen so that I can do theater, sits and waits for three hours while I do theater, and then he drives me home again. And when he's home, he goes straight to bed because he's going to work the day after. He did it for 6 years in a row, it is very touching and beautiful. He has been a great father, so I also hope that I can become an equally good father at some point, because I have had an absolutely wonderful role model. Him.
This is what you remember and treasure from your childhood. Is there a community at the time that you've been a part of?
Well, the schoolyard. It was football with the boys and I've always played both football and basketball. Football was big for us boys, it was everything. We were always thinking: “who is the best and who is the worst?”. We played all the time and that challenged the competition “gene” I have in me, which is pretty extreme, it was all about me trying to do better than the two or three other guys in my class who were about as good. We were all at the same level. We have always been competitive since primary school.
Probably was a way of socializing.
Yes, I think so. We were such innocent boys and then we became a team. But it's that sense of being wild and free and learning how to win and lose. And then tomorrow is a brand new day to play a new game. Carelessness is such a big thing when you're little. Something you could well miss when you're in your mid-twenties having a lot of problems.
When you say that you mean today you're a completely different man or better, a wiser but soft man with challenges and worries?
I think where I came from was from a really, really nice family. There was room for everything.
That feels like winning.
Yes, that's how you win. We didn't understand many feelings being boys that young. But I remember this talent show I was a part of, when I was 11 years old, it was a tv program where I sang and danced. It was different from what country kids experience, you have just sports there. My classmates came to see me and they were extremely supportive, I was so happy, it was fantastic. There was the whole class in there with banners and everything and the amazing experience so wonderful. But strange. Then a couple months later I had an argument with one of my teammates on the football field, he told me that just because I was on a tv show didn't mean I was better than him. I still remember those words, I was shocked, I remember those words like I heard them a week ago.
Kids, it was just kids, but I felt such a sense of shame, did I really act like I thought I was better than him? No matter who the hell you talk to, people who did something that made them a little different from the others, feel this way. People who might be famous or what the hell. They probably always feel completely calm, especially if I imagine me at 11, I just wanted to go back to school to play football. I did not attach any further value to it. I did not feel that me being on a tv show could have caused problems. But apparently it did. I spent the next six years of my life after that “incident” in Copenhagen, at the Eventyrteatret, feeling more at home than ever.
Why did you feel more at home?
Because they were just like me, crazy just like me, energetic just like me and loved dancing and singing just like me.
END PART ONE
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hopefulsunshinegirl · 5 years ago
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Runaway child
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So I had a thought and then I wrote it down. What if because he walked away from one child that destiny was just like well tough luck mate here's another one. Please note that is it just based from the TV show. Have no idea if this will go down well but worth a try. It’ll be a father daughter relationship and super fuffy and I just really wanted some more soft Geralt. 
Title: Runaway Child 
Description: Don’t mess with destiny. A lesson Geralt will have to learn the hard way in the form of a tiny stubborn girl who has decided to be his new travelling companion. 
Warnings: None
Length: 1347 
The sun had set and her feet were aching by the time the Witcher stopped to set up camp. It had been a long day but thankfully the Witcher and his friend stayed on foot so she was able to follow them out of her town this morning, keeping a safe distance away as they made their way through the wood. Quietly, she settled down under a tree while they lit the fire, not close enough to feel the warmth of it but enough that she wasn’t completely surrounded by darkness. After a while the bard started playing a gentle melody seemingly to the Witchers annoyance. The calming notes drifted through the trees and almost of their own accord the girls eyes began to drop. She was relaxing further into the nook of the tree when the Witcher’s rumbling voice broke through the song startlingly her, “The night will be too cold without a fire.” She tensed at his words, holding as still as she could practically holding her breath in the now deadly silence.
“Which is of course why we have one Geralt. Are you not feeling well or are you just talking to Roach again?” The confusion is clear in the Bards voice as he replies, but the Witcher does not speak again. “Well alright…that wasn’t weird at all. Always knew you were a bit lacking up there but now you might have actually lost it.” He started to play again.
“We will do you no harm.”
“WHO are you talking to? Wait is someone there?” the bards voice rose in pitch as the girl listens nervously to the sound of leaves crunching under foot, “If I didn’t know any better I might think you were just trying to stop me playing.” He shouts as the fire light around the girl is blocked out by the very imposing, very tall form of the Witcher. Panicking, she jumps up and spins away as if to run, but a large hand catches the back of her cloak, picking her off the floor and stalking back toward the fire.  
“Put me down! What happened to no harm? Let me go, I haven’t done anything!” She struggles her voice slightly breaking in fear, before being unceremoniously dumped on the damp ground next to the bard. The Witcher sits himself opposite her, his orange eyes catching in the glow of the flames as they stare the girl down.
“A child. You found a child?” The bard directed his question across the fire, eyes wider than she thought possible, “Where did you even come from?” this question was for her, but she didn’t look away from the Witcher.
“She’s been following us all day.” He replied for her. The girl couldn’t tell if the man was cross with her or not, his voice always sounded the same.
“And you let her? Geralt,” the bard chastised, “she’s so small, you should have sent her back once you realised! This is no place for someone who cannot defend themselves.” He reached out towards her shoulders, but this time she was prepared and before he knew it had reached into her cloak and put a dagger between the two of them.
“I am not some helpless little girl.” She practically growls and the bard lowers his hands cautiously, “He didn’t let me do anything. I needed to leave.” She starts to explain, putting her weapon away, “You seemed like you knew where you were going. Thought it was a good place to start.” She looks back at the Witcher, but he does not respond, “When I saw you in the village I knew you could lead me out; the kind eyed stranger and his funny little friend who travel the continent helping people. Maybe they could help me.” The last bit is almost a whisper and suddenly she does feel small and helpless, releasing now she’d just put her destiny in their hands. If they were to send her away she would have nowhere to go and no one to call safe.
“Look here, I’m not his funny lit-”
“I don’t help people.” The Witcher interrupts now gazing into the fire.
“That’s not what the songs say.” She argues, but the Witcher just continues to stare at the flames. “I won’t be a burden. I’m used to looking after myself. I just want to get to somewhere else. I will stop following you if you want, but I shan’t be going back to that place” Stubbornly she crosses her arms and eyes the uninterested Witcher.
“Yes that sounds like a good plan. We’ll help you get somewhere safe, but we can’t be travelling with a child” His friend nods to himself sounding decided, but it is not his opinion she wants, especially as he’d just said the complete opposite of what the girl wanted. Silence descends upon the small camp, with each second she can feel the tension growing and her heart begins to fall. She starts to think the Witcher will agree with him and turn her away, and just as her eyes start to prickle with unshed tears he speaks.
“How old are you?” the question is so startling innocent and unexpected that she forgets for a moment that he was speaking to her.
“Oh,” she chuckles, “I’m (Y/N) and in 2 months I’m going to be 13” she proudly state, beaming up at the stoic man, “How old are you?”
“So you’re 12 then. That is much too young to leave home!” The bard throws is arms up and the girl glares at him about to start an argument, but the Witcher saves both of them the trouble by answering.
“I’m 97”
There’s a pause as she stares at him, “That’s old.”
“Yes,” he grunts.
“I bet you’ve be able to see the whole continent then.”
“Most.”
“See, that is exactly what I want to do. I guess you do know where you’re going” the girl starts to ramble taking off her bag and setting out a sleeping mat. “You’ll be able to show me everything,” a yawn escapes her as she lies down, “I should sleep. Tomorrow will be just as busy, yes?” not really expecting a reply, her eyes start to close. “Goodnight Witcher. Goodnight Bard.”
The night is silent with thought for a long time after the child falls asleep. Both men staring into the fire occasionally glancing towards her small figure illuminated in the dim glow. “Preciouses little thing.” Jaskier smiles, “Wonder what she’s really running from? You know-”
“Don’t start Jaskier”
“No it’s actually quite funny this. Despite how you try to deny destiny it really seems to want you to have a child. First the Child Surprise and now a runaway child. Maybe you were meant to be a father…” Jaskier looks up at Geralts scowling face, “or not…But you have to admit that it is weird it’s happened twice. What I don’t get is why didn’t you send her back to the village? Surely you knew she was following us?” He waited for a reply but the Witcher didn’t even look like he was listening. “Oh come on, you were answering her questions! Are you going to let her stay?” Jaskier practically demanded.
“She’s sleeping be quiet.” Geralt warned, eyeing the bundle for movement just in case she’d been disturbed by the Bards prattle. “I thought she would get bored following. I was wrong.”
“Amazing. A 12 year old is what makes you admit such a thing. Does that mean you’re keeping her? Because she didn’t give up?”
“Isn’t that how you managed it?” Geralt almost smiled at the thought.
“That’s different! I’m here for a purpose, who else will tell your heroic stories to the public. You need me. She is a child. She needs to be kept safe, we are not equipped to look after her, how will she mange on the road with us?”
“She’s already proved she can manage better than you,” he smirked at his friend, as he to lay down to sleep, “She came with a knife.”
Okay so I do have an idea of where I want this to go, but do you think I should continue?
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yamithediaperdork · 4 years ago
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Midnight Stroll (Soul eater)
Midnight stroll
It was a bright star and moon filled night out, something that a certain weapon wasn't all that happy with as he made his way toward the park in death city. When he'd originally planned this all out it had been with the understanding of a cloudy night to help him hide a little better and now that plan had gone to hell. Of course the fact he was even going to enact his plan outside meant that our hero wanted to be seen but still. who's our hero and whats the plan you may be asking? The Hero of course was Soul, weapon extorinair and always hungry for well, souls.And his plan was to engage in his bi monthly diaper waddle of shame. You see Soul wasn't like most boys his age who were off chasing girls and being all manly. his idea of a ideal date would be getting spanked silly, diapered and teased till he pooped himself and then being put to bed in a crib without a diaper change.  As you might expect, this made his dating options slim to none so he just handled his babying himself. Granted there had been a close call or two when his roommate Black Star had walked in while he was diapered but Soul had manged to get under his blankets before being seen.
It was that close call that had soul decide to take his diaper games public, though he really only went out around midnight, and only did a quick little walk (or waddle if you prefer) in a area where not many people were up/knew him. before he had done massive diapers under shorts, and a diaper and t-shirt but tonight's main event so to speak would be his most daring outfit yet, and this time he wasn't going to carry his big boy clothes in a back pack with him. This time he was going to leave them in the public bathroom at the park so he'd have no real way of wussing out and hiding in a alley, scrambling to get pants on over his diapers. Just the thought of how MUCH of a big dumb stupid baby he was going to be had him almost skipping as he made his way into the park and made a B line for the bathrooms.
In the bathroom stall Soul paused and caught his breath, mentally psyching himself up for what he was going to do  There was no two ways about it, while the THOUGHT of what he was going to do had him rock hard and squirming like crazy as he leaked into his Garfield briefs, he KNEW just how bad this could be if he was caught. Just picturing Maka or Death or really ANY of his friends finding out what a big baby he was had him whimpering even if he was totally ready to have a 'accident' if he kept it up. Still, he hadn't blown a ton of money to order these items in and NOT use them, and nothing ventured nothing gained. or some bullshit like that. In any case, he started to strip.
Walking out of the bathroom with a waddle in his step, Soul was crimson faced but grinning like a fool as he checked out his reflection in the mirror. looking back at him was a young man, in thick massive nursery print diapers that forced his legs apart and would be more then up for the challenge of holding ANY messes the so called big boy could make. On his feet gone were the sneakers and instead was a pair of white baby booties in his size with little silver stars decorating them. His scrawny chest was covered with a plastic bib, white with a silver trim and in silver letters proclaimed soul to be a 'messy eater.' In his mouth bobbing in and out, and attached to a string around Soul's neck was a white and silver Pacifier, with a extra large nipple on it so his whole mouth was filled and it was already making him drool like the big baby he was. the final piece of his new look was a oversized white and silver baby bonnet to A) help him look even more silly and B) help help his identity. 'You, are SUCH a baby!' he thought to himself, squirming and crinkling as he wiggled his hips. Giggling like crazy he waddled back over to the stall and zipped up the book bag with all his big boy stuff in it and hung it on the inside door hook, the closed the stalls from the outside. Sure anyone who pushed on the door would see no one was in there buttt it wasn't like the place was exactly hopping with a bunch of people so Soul was sure it would be ok.
the first few steps into the wide open area of the park was the most nerve wracking, there was NO where to dodge and try and hide once he walked more then five steps away from the bathroom and Soul felt like at any second everyone and their uncle was going to pop outta nowhere and point and laugh at him. 'Mental note..next time toke up first.' he thought, squirming and his belly full of butterflies as he waddle over toward the play structure. Plopping his butt down in one of the swings (and barley fitting) he looked over at the baby seat swing with want in his eyes but if his fat diaper butt could barely fit in a normal swing, they'd have to call someone to cut him free out of one of those. Swinging back and forth a little he closed his eyes and pretended that it was the middle of the day, and a group of kids were all gathered around pointing and laughing at him. 'oh nooo! they're all being sooo mean to widdle meee! where my mommy and da-' Soul was thinking , but with his eyes closed and getting carried away he didn't notice that the slick plastic of his diapers had been sliding on the seat and suddenly he fell off the back of the swing. '...owwwwww..' he whined mentally, looking up at the sky. Since clearly swings and his diapers were going to work out on this fine evening, Soul after picking himself up moved on towards the slide. Climbing on the metal ladder with it being somewhat narrow and his diaper so bulky was a little trickier then he'd thought it would be and his foot slipped more then once as he made his way up. 'I swear, if I hurt myself AGAIN on playground equipment I'm just gonna bring a bucket and sand shovel next time and play in the sand box.' Soul thought dryly. the fact that he was apparently too much of a baby to use this stuff meant for little kids though DID make him feel nice and babyish and he was all grins as he got to the top of the slide and started to come down..At least till the static cling and the bulk of the diaper and the smallish sides of the slide meant while he didn't get stuck, he got one hell of a diaper wedgie. 'Anddd I think I'm done with the playground.' Soul thought sheepishly, trying to pick his diapers out of his ass crack.
The next part of his little planned fun was a little bit more risky then just playing on the playground. the playground had been close enough to the bathroom that he could of dashed back in as needed, but now as he tapped his chin and looked in different direction, he was going to go and walk for a block in the city on one of those directions. He wasn't too worried about being jumped or attack since well, diapers or no diapers he was a fucking weapon, but still people seeing him, pointing and laughing, maybe even taking pictures.... It was everything he dreaded and everything he wanted and it didn't take long for any common sense to be drowned out and he picked the southern route, meaning a good 6 minutes of waddling just in the park before even hitting the streets. His nipples stiff under his baby bib, Soul took one last look back at the park, then waddled out into the city.
as fate would have it, the path that Soul took actually went by a new all night gay bar, something he didn't realize till he turned a corner and there was a group of 5 well muscled men out having a smoke. The sight made him freeze in his tracks which was bad because he was under a street lamp at the time and while he to unfreeze and back track, he got noticed. "What the hell.." Came a drunken voice. "Oh my god! Tell me I'm actually seeing this and it's not just the phantom blast shots I've been pounding!" "Pffftt..it's a little diaper boy!" "You lost little boy? come sit with uncle." Anther one called and patted his lap. "Heh, think they'd wipe our bar tab clean if we brought him inside?" The last one asked. Soul's paci was moving in and out of his mouth BIG time now as he unfroze, but was squirming like crazy as a deep red blush covered his face. the men got up and started to walk over, smirking, smiling and one of them was pulling his cell phone out! "A-Ah! N-No pictures please!" Soul squeaked out, letting the paci fall out of his mouth and trying to cover his face. "heh..Cutie offer cutie. turn around and wiggle that cute butt of yours for us and there will be no FACE pictures." Cell phone said. A huge whine came out of soul, but he had to admit this was exactly that kind of attention he had humped stuffies into oblivion thinking about. It wasn't like he was going to be able to outrun the guys even if they were clearly wasted with the massive diaper between his legs and he briefly thought about maybe just switching to pull ups for next time so he could take off easier if this sorta thing happened again. Banishing THAT thought from his mind he did a half turn so his pampered butt was facing the drunks and then he started to shake it back and forth and getting into it, reached back and slapped it a couple of times. "Oh, somebodies a naughty baby huh? Does your daddy and mommy know where you are?" "hehehe Nope~! And.." Soul paused, the attention and the feeling of all of this short circuiting any restraint. "And it's just my daddy. We live together but he doesn't know what a dumb diaper bitch I am and How much I love being a pamper filling humiliation junkie~" "..well I'm hard." came a voice he recognized as cell phones. Soul giggled and wagged a finger back and forth. "ah ah ah, Sorry Uncles..This diaper boy is a official virgin for life so I can't help you with that! No sex for me ever, just poopie diapers and lots of teasing!" Soul giggled, then swatted his butt again and rubbed the front of his diapers. "Oh man.. no one is ever going to believe this..even with the pictures." "I'm seeing it with my own two eyes and -I- can't." Soul giggled again but then his tummy gurgled and grumbled, apparently his greasy supper wanted to make a appearance. "..wait..is he going to.." One of the guys asked. Not having to look at them, Soul found himself more daring then ever and popped a squat, rubbing his tummy. "Ohhh nooo! the big dumb BABY has to go boom boom!" he whined in babyish tone, and dared a look over his shoulder. and then paled. the original five had turned into 15 men watching him and smirking and suddenly the idea of loading his diapers in front of such a big crowd didn't seem like such a good idea. "A-Ah on second thought.." He squeaked. "Aww come on, don't be a cock tease! you promised us a show!" a guy wearing a bandana and sunglasses at night protested. "I..But..This is too many..and.." Soul whined and squirmed, his guts churning and a muffled fart coming out of him. "...Ok guys we're scaring the baby. phones away, no one record little soul's accident." Came the voice of one of the original five and Soul relaxed for a second..then turned around, letting out a massive poot and eyes wide. "W-Wait you know m-my name!?!" He practically shrieked. "uh..Yeah. wasssss I not suppose to? you're kinda famous in town." the guy said rubbing the back of his head. "..I'm going to run away now." Soul said, voice going faint. He made it all of five steps in his effort to get away, over the protest of his crowd of 'fans' when he was forced to hunch over and pop a squat again. Those who watched the show would later on agree while the visual effect of watching a deadly weapon helplessly blort out his diaper so it was sagging and discolored was hawt..they could of done without the smell. Still when Soul had dropped to his knees and pounded a fist on the street, while crying out that he was making cum cums, that helped them put up with the stink.
The waddle back to the park took much longer, though with the heavy load in his diaper making him waddle worse then before and his legs weak from the force of his orgasm it wasn't that shocking. Several times he had to pause and rest against a lamppost, and just suck on his paci, having semi orgasmic after shocks as he thought about what he had just done. 'Well, Ones thing for sure. that's to sure fuel my stuffie humping for at least half a year.' He thought and giggled a little. Finally making his way back to the bathroom, and having to wave away flies now, soul had let the paci fall from his mouth as he was holding his nose. "guh, I'm fucking rotten. no more greasy joeys fried chili-dogs for me." He muttered softly and spotted his stall. and froze. because it was wide open. "Ohhh no. no no no.." Soul said, gulping and a shaky smile on his face. "M-My Book bag is GOING to be there. it's going to be there. it's going to be there." it became a mantra as he took one step at a time, a feeling of weakness washing over him. "it's going to be there. it's..it's.." Soul mewed as he made it and looked, tears welling up in his eyes. "It's..Not here..But..my house key was in there...I..I have to waddle home..In..In a poopie diaper..and..And get Black star to let me in.." the big baby went silent as it sunk in and then feel to his knees crying out and sobbing even as a second powerful orgasm wracked though his body.
Black star was less then pleased as the doorbell wouldn't stop. he'd had more then a few drinks before going to bed and shouted for soul to get the fucking door, but of course the white haired bastard was ignoring him. 'I swear..after I answer the door if he's still asleep it's hand in warm water time.' Black thought. in just his white boxers with little black stars all over it (Yes, he was THAT vain) he made his way down to the front door. Modesty wasn't really a big thing for him and to be fair with how late it was fuck whoever was knocking on the door and ringing the door bell, they could see him in his undies. Not bothering to use the peephole first to see who it was, Black Star just opened the door and started to snarl. "What do you fucking..want..Uh..soul?" he roared, then went from a pissed off face, to a confused one, then smirking. "Oh. My. God." Soul whined and blushed, squirming back and forth. "C-Can you just move and let me in already?" the big baby whined. "Bwhahahaha! I knew it! Maka and everyone else said I was crazy But I fucking knew it! I know that was a diaper I saw you in the other day!" Black star crowed, then paused and wrinkled his nose. "wait..is that smell coming from you?" "N-No! I mean..yes, but uh..I just..stepped in some dog crap! yeah! that's it an-" Soul tried to say, but Black star not only tugged him into the house, but turned him around and planted his palm on the massive mess in the back of soul's diapered, making the big babies eyes roll in his head. "You did! you totally fudged yourself! Oh man!" Black star laughed, and then kept patting the poor weapons droopy pampers. "I think we need to have a nice long talk about how things are going to change around here, don't you?" Black Star asked and smirked. "I..I Uh..Ohh.." the weapon mewed and spread his legs to allow Star a easier time of smushing his mush tush. "though first and foremost, the first thing that needs to be changed is your stinky diaper butt..little boy." Black star said and then kissed soul's cheek. As his third orgasm in under a hour wracked his body, soul couldn't help but think that maybe he should of just stayed in tonight and streamed a movie.
The end
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blursed-ninjago-ideas · 4 years ago
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Is this what you want? insp
--
Zane stared at Kai’s unconscious body. He hadn’t meant to. It was a tense situation; he was just scared and…well.
“You did the right thing.”
Zane scowled at the unwanted voice in his head. He hit his head the day before and there he was. Zane had been doing his best to ignore him. He’d taken to calling him Overkill, because that was what his suggestions were.
Kai was still on the ground.
This had all started because Kai had gotten hurt and his ankle was still recovering. Today he wanted to train again, but Nya had told him he couldn’t. They fought and Kai ran off.
Zane should’ve just let him go, but Overkill had insisted he check on him. Sure enough, he’d found Kai trying to make a brace for his ankle out of some bandages so he could go out and fight. Zane had tried to talk him out of it, but Kai had gotten so mad and defensive. Overkill’s screaming was not helping Zane think straight, so he had lost it and struck Kai on the back of the head as he tried to walk away.
“You did what he had to do to protect him.” Overkill assured him.
“No, I attacked him.”
“You protected him.”
Zane sighed. Nya had stormed off on her own after the fight, and his other brothers were all visiting their respective families. He was all on his own.
“I hit him!”
“What’s one little bump compared to the slashes and bruises he would’ve come home with? The bullet wound he would hide and try to treat himself? The infection he would get from not addressing it correctly? The fever he would suffer from while his body fought off the infection? The worry Nya and Lloyd would feel seeing their older brother sick and bedridden? The guilt he’d feel for making them worry? The shame he’d feel every time he looked at the jagged scar?”
Zane tighten his clenched fists.
“You don’t know that would happen.”
“You know his ankle isn’t recovered enough for him to fight. You know he would get in over his head! You know he would get himself hurt!”
“What’s the point then!? He’ll just be more determined to go out when he wakes up.” Zane spat.
“Then stop him.”
“What would you have me do? Lock him up!? How would that be helping him!?” Zane yelled, exasperated.
“Of course not! That would only add to his suffering.”
Zane huffed.
“Then what?” he snapped.
Silence.
“That’s what I thought! I’m going to start to work on an apology for when he wakes up.” Zane said, still annoyed.
“You have to protect him.”
Zane sighed.
“That’s your job. You have to protect people, right?”
“Yes.” Zane muttered, still annoyed and losing his stamina for the argument.
“Well he needs protected from himself. That’s what we’re doing.”
Zane just stayed quiet, putting Kai on the cot so he wouldn’t wake up on the floor.
“He’s only trying to put himself in danger because he’s upset. We can’t just stop at physically protecting him, we have to treat the deeper issue! His emotional pain leads to him being in danger.”
“Meaning?” Zane asked, his tone still short.
“Meaning we have to protect him from himself not just physically, we have to protect him mentally too.”
Zane let out a bitter laugh
“We’ve all been trying to help Kai through his issues for years now. I can’t just go into his brain and fix things!”
“But you can!”
“How in the world could I do that?” Zane asked.
“The overlord did it.”
Zane stopped suddenly in shock.
“He did it to Borg, and even Wu.”
Zane shock.
“Are you asking me to mind control my friend?”
“I’m not asking you to do anything! I’m pointing out a problem and telling you the solution.”
“What the Overlord did was evil.”
“What he did was use a weapon. He hurt people with it yes, but you use weapons to protect all the time, don’t you? Villains have always used weapons. That doesn’t make the weapon evil. All you would be doing is using a weapon to protect someone.”
That….was decent logic, Zane had to admit that.
“You have total access to Borg’s systems, including the canceled projects the Overlord developed. You could look into it.”
“But I’d never-“
“Nya won’t be back for hours. The others are all away visiting family. You have all the time you need.”
“But I couldn’t-“
“Kai is suffering. You can protect him from that suffering. What kind of protector would you be if you let him continue like this? If he was happy, if he was pain-free, he wouldn’t feel the need to hurt himself and others to mange it. We can give that to him. We can fix it, fix him.”
With Overkill whispering in his ear, Zane stared working. It wasn’t long until the chip was done. Implanting it wasn’t hard either.
Zane drowned in guilt the moment he activated it, but Kai was waking up and needed his attention.
Kai’s eyes fluttered open and he moaned as he sat up, rubbing his neck where Zane he implanted the chip.
“What happened?”
Zane was speechless. Kai didn’t seem too much like the zombie he feared he’d turn his friend into.
“Zane?” Kai asked, wide open eyes staring back.
“You…you were trying to go out and fight and I stopped you.” Zane explained.
Would Kai remember that Zane had attacked him? Zane cringed and braced himself for Kai’s anger.
“Oh.” Was all he said.
Zane blinked and stared at Kai.
“That was probably for the best. My ankle isn’t fully healed, I would’ve gotten hurt.” Kai said, smiling. “Thanks.”
“You’re not mad?” Zane asked in disbelief.
Kai shook his head and gave another big smile.
“Nah. You were right. I was just being stupid. How about we stay in and watch a movie or something?”
“You see how happy he is now that we’ve protected him from his own bad thoughts?” Overkill said.
“How’s your ankle?” Zane asked, ignoring certain things for the moment.
Kai shrugged.
“It’s throbbing a little, but it’s manageable.”
“I should give you an anti-inflammatory.”
“Alright.” Kai agreed.
“He’s even stopped refusing medical treatment. He’s so much better now that we fixed him. He needed this!”
Zane couldn’t argue with results. Kai was so much happier. He took the pill Zane gave him and even let him elevate his foot while they watched the movie.
“This is the best way to protect him.” Overkill told him, and Zane was starting to agree with him.
Halfway through their second movie, Nya got home.
“Alright, how much damage did you do?” she asked reluctantly as she come into the room, not surprised to see Kai’s ankle elevated, but a little surprised to see it not back in a splint.
“Actually, I didn’t go out.” Kai said.
Nya glared.
“Honest! Ask Zane! I’ve been here all night!”
Nay looked to Zane who nodded. She knew he wouldn’t lie to her face like that, so that meant Kai was telling the truth.
“Alright, who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Nya asked.
Zane stiffed, thinking he was caught for a moment.
“You caught me. I’m Kai’s responsible clone. You’ve thwarted my plans to take over his life and improve it while he was locked in the closet. Curse you.” Kai said playfully, while rolling his eyes.
Nya laughed. Zane relaxed. They all settled in to continue their movie marathon, now with Nya.
Kai feel asleep somewhere towards the ending of movie number four. Nya took the chance to ask Zane more about Kai’s sudden self-preservation.
“I just…. I dealt with the real problem instead of the symptoms of it.” Zane explained.
“Do I even want to know how you managed that?” Nya asked, half joking.
Zane laughed it off but didn’t answer.
He didn’t want to lie, but he also was pretty sure Nya would have a problem if she knew what he did to her brother.
But it was fine. It was to protect him.
“Well thanks. Whatever you did got through that thick skull of his. I’m glad he’s ok. Maybe he might not get himself half killed for a while!”
Zane was even more firm in his decision. He did the right thing. He helped Kai.
So, when Overkill spoke up again a few days later, Zane listened.
“Lloyd is in pain too.”
“He is?”
“Look at how much he’s suffered. The nightmares, the grief, the scars, he deserves better.”
“He does.” Zane agreed.
“We could protect him from those nightmares. We could protect him from all his guilt and sadness.”
Overkill was right. Zane was made to protect, and this was the best and most effective way to do it. Zane didn’t dither before getting to work like had with Kai, he got straight to it.
“Why should we stop there? All our friends should be protected. They have flawed human brains that hurt for no reason and make the wrong choices for themselves. We can fix that. We can give them better. Protect them from their own minds!”
Zane couldn’t agree more.
Jay was the next one he could get alone, with Kai and Lloyd’s help of course. They were more than happy to help, and things went so much smoother with assistance too. Now he just had to wait for Jay to bring Nya to him.
-
Jay had never in his life been so thankful. Thankful he was the master of the element he was. Thankful for static shock. Thankful for doorknobs.
“You alright?” Nya asked.
Oh no.
“No. No I’m not. We have to go.”
“But you said-“
Jay grabbed her wrist and started to drag her away.
“Jay! What are you doing!?”
“Just trust me, we can’t go in there. We have to find Cole.”
Nya huffed, but let Jay lead her below deck to where Cole was lifting weights. Said ninja gave them a surprised look when Jay came bursting in with Nya in tow and slammed the door close behind them.
“What’s up?” Cole asked, while Jay frantically tried to barricade the door.
“What’s up, is Zane’s gone crazy!” Jay yelled.
Nya gave him a flat look while Cole just blinked in disbelief.
“I’m serious. He….” Jay choked on the words “He……he put something in my….” Deep breaths “in my head. I’m pretty sure he did it to Lloyd and Kai too. I was…”
As crazy as he was sounding, Jay’s distress was real. Cole put a comforting hand on his back while Jay force himself to keep talking.
“I was….I was getting Nya so he could….do it to her.” He screwed his eyes shut, trying to power through “But I think the static on the doorknob reacted with my element. I must’ve shorted out whatever he was using to….control me.”
“Jay….are you sure-“
“YES, I’M SURE!!!” Jay snapped.
“But why would Zane do that?” Nya asked
“I don’t know, but he….he was definitely in my head….” Jay was ready to cry from the stress and trauma.
Zane was his friend, and normally Jay would trust him with his life. But this…it was violating, and Jay didn’t know how he could forgive Zane for it.
A knock at the door.
“Jay, Are you in here? You ran off in such a panic, I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Zane said through the door.
Jay trembled but answered.
“Yeah….I’m fine. Just going to chill in here for a while.”
The door rattled.
“Why is the door locked, Friend?”
“It’s just….for privacy.” Jay excused, sending frightened glances over at Nya and Cole.
“Would you please open it?” Zane asked in a level tone.
“N-no. Not right now.”
Quiet.
“It’s not safe to keep the door locked like this.” Zane said, disapproval in his voice.
“It’s fine.”
“No. It’s not Jay. Let me in so I can protect you.”
Nya and Cole finally looked a little concerned.
“I’m ok Za-“
Zane started to try to break the door down.
“Zane stop.” Nya pleaded.
“It’s ok Nya, I’m just trying to keep you all safe.”
“How are you planning on doing that Zane?” Cole asked hesitantly.
“Oh.” Zane said quietly, the pounding stopping for a moment.
“You’re all three in there.” Zane stated in a dismayed voice. “I would’ve much preferred to do this more gently, but if I have to use force I will.”
“Zane….what did you do? What did you do to my brother? Did you…. are you controlling him?” Nya had tears in her eyes.
“I’m protecting him from his own thoughts. He’s happier and less likely to put himself in danger now.” Zane explained cheerfully in an unhinged tone
Nya took a step away from the door and joined in Jay’s frightened shaking.
“Zane buddy. Let’s talk this out, ok? You don’t have to do this.” Cole shakily tried to reason.
“I do have to do this. It’s the only way to truly protect you. Don’t worry, once I fix you guys you won’t be so scared.”
Zane went back to breaking down the door. Kai and Lloyd joined him and started pleaded with the others to let them all in so they could help them.
--
-Ivy
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sleeplessandstubborn · 4 years ago
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Emily in Paris or why I stopped caring for the main character and started rooting for the French. Episode 2.
I must confess one thing. I have a sort of admiration for people who have the habit and the will of go running before work, because I don’t do these things, and people who can do it while wearing what seems like a lace top (?) maybe more adequate for other things, but who am I to judge if Emily looks perfectly fine when running while I look like a bag with sport wear. So congratulations Miss Cooper you are doing well in this aspect. Also shows that Emily is adapting her schedules and her habits to her new life. Example: she’s not going to arrive early to work this time. Lesson learnt, so good for her!
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Unfortunately there are still things she must get right. Example given, knowing exactly where her apartment is. She again tries to invade her cute neighbour’s home, which causes him to ask if she wants to live in his apartment. At this stage, there are reasons to suspect indeed. But there’s no time enough for our two character to devour each other with their eyes, so, after a last invitation to bang anytime from our delicious neighbour Emily goes back home to get a shower and dress for work.
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Her white boots, however, have an unfortunate encounter with a material of animal origin. She’s naturally disgusted and deals with it making another Instagram post. Discovering, by the way, that she’s gaining more and more followers for ther photos of fictional! Paris.
Sidenote: this scene can mean two things from yours truly’s point of view. Either Emily’s next days are going to be shitty or she’s going to be ultimately lucky. In France or Spain is very common to wish good luck with the word merde (or well, mierda in Spanish). In both cases it comes from the times people went to theatre or opera house in carriages drawn with horses. So a load of shit meant: you are in the greatest show in town. But probably is not that deep.
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At Savoir, la Plouc is decaying as Emily’s sobriquet, and only Julien greets her with it. Besides, Emily has learn to strike back. Or rather is her smartphone the one she uses to retort Va te faire foutre! Which mean Fuck you but it’s not that imaginative. Why not mange tes morts, or some decent French swearing. Anyway well done, Emily, because this makes her earn Julien’s respect.
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... But evidently not Sylvie’s. She is clearly contemplating the void and wondering if some kind of karmic justice has sent her this girl that can’t figure out why is la plouc instead of le plouc or won’t pronounce the name of the fragance De L’Heure from Lavaux. Sylvie doesn’t want to listen her ideas for promoting Lavaux’s last product. A little discussion insues between the two ladies. Must luxury remain an enclosed world? Should it be democratized in some way? Of course Emily thinks the point of view of an outsider could help, but, could you point at the outsider in this scene? Of course Emily is not French and still dealing with the continuous cultural clash. But she doesn’t seem an outsider by any means. And, ah. There’s a launch party for De L’Heure so she better hurry up and put some thing that doesn’t resemble whatever she’s wearing.
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Was that fashion advice from Sylvie? Who knows. In any case, Emily looks quite pretty with her black dress. The handbag is funny but highly debatable. And she’s overjoyed and bubbly as she pursues trays full of delicious food. Which is a faux pas, from Sylvie’s point of view.
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Enter Antoine Lambert from Maison Lavaux a.k.a. another Frenchman who is going to be attracted towards Emily’s many charms. Because that’s what Frenchmen do in this series. She fails to understand what a nose means in the world of fragances - it’s not that harsh to figure out, sometimes I wonder why they have written her like that; she’s suffering a severe case of cultural clash, but it doesn’t mean she’s stupid, argh -. Antoine is creeptractive. Especially in the next scene.
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Which takes place in this terrace with the gorgeous view of a glittering Eiffel Tower. This makes Emily smile and would do everyone else who had the opportunity to assist. This makes up for Sylvie saying that she’s talking too much about bussiness during the party, which is something she should not do.
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Monsieur le Creeptractive follows her and tests the fragance on her skin. A really weird dialogue about how she should have a French boyfriend because you learn French in bed... Yeah, sure.  Emily profess her fidelity to her engaged to be engaged Doug back in Chicago. Something that he doesn’t deserve but more on that immediately after. He smells her in a way that would make many women shudder and run away and compliments (?) her on smelling like expensive sex. Yikes yikes yikes.
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All in all, is a successful night for Emily, but as she discovers the next day, she’s supposed to work not in the promotion of De l’Heure, but in some product  called Vaga-Jeune to help woment to combat vaginal dryness. Is that a mean move by Sylvie, or it’s only a logical thing for Emily to start there, given she has experience in pharmaceuticals? Discuss. She also tells our heroine not to be too flirty with Antoine, who is married to one of her very good friends. But immediately after Julien drops the bomb: Sylvie is actually Antoine’s mistress. Oops.
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In order to deal with the amount of unwanted information, Emily texts to Mindy and they go for a dinner. Mindy gives her a few tips to survive in the complicate environment of a city where everyone is having affairs with everyone. As if in Paris - like everywhere else - didn’t exist people who doesn’t care about sex. In this universe, Emily still can’t wrap her head around the endemic lack of conyugal fidelity in this series.
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We learn more about Mindy, who maybe would deserve more than being only Asian token character which is supportive of the main one just because. Indeed Mindy is for now my favourite character here, along with Sylvie. Mindy turns out to be in Paris because her millionaire zipper king father wanted her in the bussiness school, but, since living in Paris was one of her dreams, Mindy dropped it and became a nanny instead. Now she’s been cut off by dad, but she’s free and, besides, she finds funny to have grown up surrounded by nannies and now being one of them.
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The temptation of MIndy taking over Emily in this series is too big when just in the next scene she thinks she can “educate the chef a little bit about customer service” without even tasting her steak, which she wants done more. Customer are not always right; some of them behave like annoying assholes. She swallows her words as Gabriel from downstairs emerges from the kitchen because of course he’s the chef. Somewhat that convinces her she should taste the steak before giving her opinion. It turns out the steak is wonderful, it was wonderful the whole time. Emily please. Try to behave.
(also Mindy wouldn’t mind to taste the chef instead of the steak, which is understandable)
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Next day Emily is happily roaming around the market with a little hat perched on her head and the mind full of Chicago Boyfriend Doug. The little hat is so stupid that it’s almost charming, like someone more fit for a musical than for real people walking on real streets. She seems to have befriended the woman from the boulangerie, too! However, the happiness is to be shortlived...
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... Because Doug, as his first scene already indicated, is someone who can’t bother to take his ass into a plane and fly to Paris where there is nothing to do while expecting for his girlfriend to come back from job. This guy must have one, but he’s so lazy that one wonders if he inherited it. Notice that, unlike in Paris, there are cars in Chicago. Doug proceeds then to inelegantly dump his girlfriend by phone.
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Very fitting to have Emily standing just next to the Panthéon when the call is over and their relationship as dead as the people inside.
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Emily is logically sad after this and the weather seems to agree with her mood, probably she cried to her sleep, or at least she shed some tears. He doesn’t deserve it, honey.
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Her mood doesn’t improve when, at the office, she discovers a new thing. Yes, you have grammatical gender in French, as well as in other European languages. She is puzzled because, starting her campaign for Vaga-Jeune, she discovers vagine is a masculine word in French. She doesn’t understand it, and, in typical Emily fashion, she decides the problem is with this language she knows virtually nothing about.
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She also learns a very important word for her future life in Paris: grève, which means strike. And it’s not going only a vagina strike. But who knows, she lives in a parallel universe so maybe there are no strikes there (since there is no public transport and/or services on sight even if we know it exist somewhere). And of course, post something on her Instagram account about how vaginas are not masculine.
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During her (daily, one guess) conversation with Mindy during the lunch break, Emily loses at last this overoptimistic side of her that makes the character annoying and vents a little about her general exasperation. She thinks she’ll never learn the language (but girl, you barely tried, don’t be so harsh with yourself), or be simply tolerated by her workmates, or even understand how the city was built. She’ll be all right, Mindy insists, not very impressed at her friend’s disperation.
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Which follows is one of the most cringeworthy deus-ex-machina I have seen, and adequately being a deus-ex-machina it comes from l’Élysée. Wink wink, mythology aficionados.
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By the way, it’s that the façade which gives to the main courtyard of the French presidential palace? Yes it is. Here I am wondering where this footage came from and when it was filmed because I am that way. Seems the flag is at half mast from that point of view so... this could help to know in which moment was filmed... But screw that, you aren’t here for my personal obsessions, so lets go right to the point.
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Somewhat Carla Bruni finds Emily’s post about vaginas utterly fascinating, to the extent that she has to share it with Brigitte Macron. And of course the current French First Lady (even if officially there is not such title in France) agrees and posts it in her Twitter account. We only see Fictional!Brigitte from her back. Real Brigitte doesn’t have accounts on social networks, by the way, which is understandable since after a while one gets tired of playing the game of guessing if the one who made the mysoginist and idiotic post is from the extreme right or the extreme left (it’s a difficult thing to tell apart, I assure you). Of course Emily’s post gets viral.
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Brigitte Macron just retweeted you, bitch! is not bad as unexpected sentence on a screenplay in 2020, congratulations. Her partners at Savoir are overjoyed and suddenly Emily can share a table with them, yay! Though evolving from la plouc to our Vaga-Jeune is not really improving that much I guess? So that’s the end of the episode and Emily’s life seems not-so-that-depressing all of a sudden. So thank you Brigitte.
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And that was Episode 2 of Emily in Paris. Our heroine was slightly less annoying than on first one, probably because the reality of being in a totally different country is starting to hit her and she’s had a few humblings by this moment. For the next one, we’ll know more about Monsieur le Creeptractive & the nonsense of fragance advertisements.
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Icecube
@sasageyowrites​ birthday gift number 2 babyyyyyyy here you gooooo sorry it's a tad late I love youuuuu
A long little something with Shoto, Bakugo and your oc 
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The dull cloudy sky roared in chocked muffles. The cotton textured clouds collided rapidly as the wind blew stronger leaving no room for the dainty cobalt sky to bleed through. Kath looked up, her lagoon orbs flickering as they remained fixated on a particular tiny cloud, watching as it deformed and reshaped in numerous shapes. Puffing cold air towards the long bangs over her forehead, she blew the strand away from her face.
Miscellaneous little snowflakes fell on her nose and eyebrows, decorating her slightly tan skin in her most favorite manner. She chuckled to herself and pushed further back into the wall she was leaning on, her left foot roaming over her right one with a silent jab. She grunted to herself as she double tapped on the screen of her phone after checking the time.
4.42 pm
Shoto was unusually late. That much was all that she could comment on the situation, because frankly it was true, Shoto was known on being sharp and on time so this definitely seemed like an exception. As far as she knew he had run up with his father so there wasn't a point in bitching about it.
Hugging her chest, she grabbed the bang from before, fidgeting the lock between her fingers before eventually twirling it on her pointer finger. She could practically feel the clock ticking by each passing minute, the tight Lycra if her leggings freezing further with every passing second.
Not that she minded anyways, working out in the cold was supposed to help her deal with the aftermath of overusing her quirk. Shoto had always been kind enough to join her more than occasionally, always eager to consult her as to how to use her much similar to his frosting ability.
But this wasn't what was making her impatient today. What bothered her was rather irrational and idiotic, totally idiotic, she kept reminding her self but since Shoto was her childhood friend she felt like she could entrust him with the bothersome knot that sat on her chest and tightened with each passing day.
Shaking her head off her thoughts, her ears were filled with the faint shuffling sound of footsteps, ones she had grown used to over the years. Pushing her lip in a line she half smiled at Shoto, her eyes momentarily hazing over the strand on her finger, before deciding to put behind her ear.
"Hey, sorry I'm late." Shoto spoke nonchalantly, extending his fist towards her direction.
Kath puffed her cheeks up, pushing her lips further together, reaching her fist out to Shoto, her frozen knuckles meeting with his slightly warmer ones.
"Are you still in the mood for a run?" She asked, her voice stripped of any of the malice Shoto had expected to come out of her.
Nonetheless he slightly nodded his head, pushing his own lips together and between his teeth.
"Great," Kath cheered through a tiny stoic mumble "let me tie my hair."
Shoto run a hand through his hair, then slid it down his neck, scratching an itchy blotch of skin just between his right collarbone and the nape of his neck. Kath signed at him with her chin once she raised her head, her finngers working on wrapping the white elastic in loop around her makeshift ponytail. 
Shoto sighed, his chest rising and falling as his heart heaped inside his chest. Most of Kath’s ponytail fell onto her exposed collarbones, slipping between the hood of her zip up sweater. It made him gulp hard and uncomfortably, the little droplet of saliva torturing its strainous way down his esophagus.
Sure it was normal that he felt like that. He was sooner or later bound to find someone to develop a crush on,a nd who was a better candidate that Kath, one of the few people he had known since elementary school, right? Well, it wasn’t like he was going to act upon it anytime soon, or with no confirmation that she liked him back, being her friend was more than enough.
Yet, the blooming passion of teenage love was planting sweet baby pink cherry blossoms inside him, acting as an indepented source of maroon heat inside himwhener he laid eyes on her. And for all that mattered, he didn’t know what exactly had made him feel the way he was feeling now, maybe it was the sight of her nose painted in that mellow contradictory crimson mimic of a blush, or the way her hair would shine a lighter shade of blonde under such cold environment.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” Kath whispered, her words transforming into small frozen fogs, vanishing before she opened her mouth to let out a few addiotional words “I need your help, Shoto.” 
Shot shook his head, his hair straying left and right. “Shoot it, what do you want to ask?”
 “Ah, here i go i guess” Kath sighed, her azure eyes fixating on Shoto’s mismatching ones as her form eventually jumped up and down from the workout. “I like bakugo so please please give me some advice.” She breathed out in one take, lips pressed together in a dumbfounded and embarrased manner.
“What?” Shoto almost chocked, his eyes growing wide at her sight
“Do I need to repeat my self? I like Katchuki so i need adv-”
“No, I mean why, what?” black straight brows furrowed as he spoke, his mind intoxicated by what he had just heard.
“Why? Why do I like Katsuki? That’s what you’re asking?”
Tasting the bitterness in his mouth, Shoto felt his throat run dry. Beside him, Kath run almost anthusiastically, her head turned to him as her hands stayed underneath her chest, supporting her bust from bouncing up and down while she kept on jogging. She purced herr lips in a small downwards triangle, adorably batting her dark blonde lashed to Shoto’s direction
“No, uhm, why me? isn't your sister a psychic? Have her read his mind, save yourself from the trouble.” 
Shaking his hands back and forth, Shoto picked up his own pace, balancing his weight from foot to foot. His chest hitched, cursed to take small intakes of air to fill his lungs he felt his knees going week.
The small things of snowflakes grazed over his right side, dissolving upon contact, creating a momentum of discomfort as they blotched down in sheer freezing puddles.
"I asked her and apparently that's illegal. Also if I were to ask her again, she wouldn't hesitate to find an excuse to come here and flirt with mister Aizawa. You know..." Kath paused, her eyes squinting in such internal dispute that her eyebrows wavered their way to the tops of her eye sockets. "She's been making heart eyes at him for a while now."
"That's disgusting." Shoto commented nonchalantly.
"There's worse. Apparently he's subtly flirting back. Ugh why can't she just like your bother so we can adopt you all legally for fuck's sake."
Coughing up a little grazy knot that had formed down the pits of his throat in his effort to master up some words to speak. He backed away, taking a few steps behind her as he slowed down his pace to the point his bangs weren't leaping on his forehead anymore.
Family.
That's how she viewed him. Shoto didn't know why, but it jabbed a few holes in his heart every time the word played inside his head, bouncing around the cavities of his brain like a tiny little mantra. He hadn't suspected he'd actually live through this teeny silent heartbreak; despite having heard that no one could ever escape the mighty friendzone -or at least that was among Ochaco's lines- he hadn't believed, not even for a second, that it'd come to be so cold and raw like this.
Damn, he didnt even have the chance to get openly rejected.
"I'm not the best person for love advice, why don't you try Uraraka? Or Yaoyorozu?"
"Well you're my childhood friend." Kath said, slowing down her pace until she came to jog right next to Shoto once again. "And you spend time with Bakugo for your temporary license."
Shoto looked at you nonchalantly, face blank of any expression once again. Numerous thoughts bounced around his brain, numbing his already frost irritated face until he couldn't even feel his nose scrunching up. Closing his eyes in defeat he slowed down his movements, his hands moving automatically as his body came to an halt.
He only needed a moment to catch his breath, ripping himself of kneeling or bowing to rest his hands on his knees he stood almost proud, his back excessively straight as if he could always feel his father's fist bumping into him ordering him to fix his posture. He turned to face her, dual colored eyes searching for azure ones, the inside of his lower lip slightly being worried between his front teeth in anxiety.
Her blonde hair pooled over her shoulders as she nuzzled her nose onto the collar of her shirt, trying to get some friction onto the tip. She could feel a little droplet stuffing her nose, slipping down the side of her nostril.
"You know, when you get a frostbite from your quirk?" Shoto jumped straight to the point.
Subconsciously his fingers lingered over there, numb cold skin meeting its match upon impact, Shoto's frozen digit thrived between the openings betweet Kath's.With the tiniest double pat thrown to her direction Kath placed her fingers into Shoto's palms, receiving a little squeeze to the base of her thumbs by the dual hair colored male. The tipsof his fingers rubbed three soothing circles over her knuckles, his left hand emitting the most comforting heat.
The chocked sound of confirmation that came out of her made Shoto blink his eyes into hers, his lips pressing together and sinking bewteen his his teeth. He stared at her, noticing eacha nd every snowflake that fell onto her, decorating her golden locks under the cold gray afternoon light.
"Try to ask him to warm your hands up for you.”
“He’s going to blow my face off.” she snarls, her eck curving towards the ground, azure eyes burning holes onto the cobblestone material “You’re going to pay for my surgery if he does. Just a heads up.”
Shoto blinks his eyes, his gaze hooked by the the lock in which he held her hands in. If only he could warm up his insides the way he manges to warm her ands up, he wouldn’t have been in this position in the first place. Perhaps, he could try speaking up, he would just blurt out a fact and excuse himself in his dorm room, maybe sulk in there for a day or two until he had to go to his temporary license training. Sure Kath wouldn’t mind, despite being pulled away from him in her own will, he wasn’t that much of a fool for wanting to express how this rotting feeling in the depths of his stomach felt.
“He won’t do anything like that”
“Yeah, he’ll scream about me getting on his nerves, right?”
“No, he won’t.”
“I’m not telling him how i feel though, he’ll soo me off and i’ll be sulking like no tomorrow.”
Shoto didn’t answer, rather he tightened the grip on her hands, his quirk glowing like a warm candlelight lit in the back of his brain. His chest twithed, his heart beating extremelly fast at the action, but he managed to minimise the affect of his own feelings before the action of providing warm comfort to the blonde. He didn’t dare press on her or wrap a hand around her, he simpley stood there as both their pairs of hands mingled together, enjoying the violent nibbles of the weather on his skin, trying to find a way to pause his mind.
He didn’t need to drown himself in the self distracting thoughts he had just inflicted over his brain.
It was merely the not so nobble pain of one’s first heartbreak. It was supposed to be a story that he could look back to and feel a pulling in his heartstrings for the rest of his life.
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“I can’t believe this!”
Water that came to a boil roared in hungry sounds even after the red boiler clicked to signal it had fulfilled its assigned task. Steam brushed over the wooden cupboards forming into tiny droplets that found their way down onto the marble counter.
Kath slapped a hand over her forehead as she wiped the counter with a rag with the other, the tiny little droplets seeping into the microfibers of the cloth as if they were being magnetized. A long sigh escaped her lips from the depths of her chest, the back of her nose growling in protest as he throat begged to be freed by the looping pain of an angry snarl.
Red eyes watched her meticulously, examining each and every single one of her movements, continuously moving back and forth whenever she took any step. Bakugo wasn't one to apologise; everyone that knew him knew that he was set on always doing things he was sure he wouldn't regret, not only because of his gigantic pride but also to save himself from the second hand embarrassment of having to admit his judgement wasn't right.
"I wouldn't have done this if you hadn't gotten on my nerves dammit!"
His protest is pathetic, he knows that much, but as golden hair sways before his eyes, as knee length sock clad legs move lazily over the counter he can't help but chock the hitch inside his throat and every his eyes away in annoyance.
Had he known how to act around someone he liked this could have been much easier for him.
So in half honesty, it was his fault that he melted down the cooker hood.
"Remind me again how I'm getting on your nerves Bakugo!" Kath supressed a screech, closing her eyes as she chewed on the inside of her cheek.
It was unavoidable. The way she felt like her heart was going to burst, the way her lips had turned dry, or how she felt her whole body freezing up in her attempt to cool down her nerves. But that was the reality of trying to speak rationally with Katsuki Bakugo. At least for her.
Her knees pressed together, the little squirming of her thighs covered by her skirt, though she could feel how cold her legs had gotten as her thighs collided.
"By existing." Bakugo grunted.
"I literally just asked you how you're doing with your temporary license."
The growl that came from her throat masked the look she wanted to put in her eyes. With the boiler in her hand she reached for a bowl from the lower cupboards, pouring the coiling water inside once she set it on the table. Bakugo's fist colliding with the mahogany made the water vibrate in tiny little circles, sending miniature waves from the center of the bowl to the outer strobe edges.
The clock read 6.17 am.
Bakugo hadn't meant to cause that accident, if he were to admit on certain things, but he needed to be excused for the fact that he had just woken up and maybe for the fact that it was early, oh, and also for the fact that his emotions angered him.
Kirishima had warned him about this, he had told him that he should be a little softer around the edges when approaching someone that he likes romantically, but Bakugo wasn't typically used to experiencing crushes or feelings of being smitten.
Right now, he was angry with himself more than he was with anyone else.
How dare he not know how to act around his crush? The yellow light in the kitchen beamed obnoxiously in his scarlet eyes, his platinum spiky locks falling over his hooded lids annoying him further as his heart heaped inside its skeleton prison.
Apparently, anxiety could make palms sweaty -Bakugo resented Midoriya now more than ever because he was the one who had warned him of his palms getting sweaty- and his sweat created explosions, and somewhere in between his need to impress and to cover up any trace of insecurity while he worked on the words he wanted to say he had accidentally blown up the cooker hood.
Key word. Accidentally.
But it was unlikely that Kath viewed it as an accident. And to top it all he couldn't explain himself without letting out his feelings pop in the surface.
"Help me clean or else mister Aizawa is going to tear us apart." Kath ordered, throwing a rag in his direction.
"Whatever! You damn idiot, you made me do it, tell that to him when he asks."
With sweaty fingers Bakugo clutched the peony cloth in his palm, his calve quaking as numerous veins popped up all over his bicep. The vein on his forehead throbbed dangerously as he brows were smitten together, squishing the small piece of flaky skin between them.
"Take responsibility for your actions!"
Bakugo's eyes squint in annoyance his right eye twitching as his jaws start jiggling, his sets of teeth crushing onto eachother.
"What did you say idiot?" He growled. "It's your fault I blew it up."
Kath's eyes widen, her pupils almost shrinking. "How is it my fault? Take responsibility because my sister will nail me if I cockblock her!"
Kath growled furiously, her chest churning with the sour bubbling of anger as she avoided looking at Bakugo at all costs.
"Yeah? So it's fine to cockblock us?"
With his eyes gleaming in demonic vermillion specs, Bakugo slapped a hand over the counter, the spit inside his mouth producing in gallons that he couldn't help but gulp down in an attempt to savor the bitter taste of anger. But sometimes one's words run faster than their mouth, he realised now how easy it was to slip up when going the extra mile to keep his feelings to himself.
"Us?"
Bakugo clutched his teeth together, his lips stretching as far as they could ever reach, his nose scrunching up, thousands of lines drawing their way into his pale skin. His eyes were impossibly squinted, his Adam's apple prominent as ever despite that his head was lowered. He brought a hand between his platinum locks, tugging at the roots before combing them through the numerous spikes that haloed over his head.
"Are you deaf or an idiot?" He screamed.
Kath looked at him with a quirked eyebrow, an uncalled expression on her face. Confused as ever she bent her torso, head probing right next to Bakugo's her hair falling over the counter. She resented the urge to poke a finger at him, touching him when he was mad had never seemed like a good idea, and to top it all she was as much scared as she was mad.
Deprived of sleep due to pulling an all nighter, her head buzzing in a mixture of equations and countless of paragraphs she had managed to free her self from in a matter of few hours, she felt hazed and confused as to what Bakugo was trying to utter in his newfound way of being mysterious.
But hot guys are sometimes assholes right?
"I said are you an idiot? Or deaf? Idiot!" Bakugo growled again. "I try to impress you and you can't even see that?"
"You try to what?"
"Forget it!" He said, violently tossing the rag on the cream colored tiled right next to his feet before stomping off.
"Get back here you spikehead bastard!"
At least that's something. The sound of her words makes Bakugo turn around, his foot twitching in his spot as his lips hide between his gums and his skin. With a long step he comes closer to his previous spot and watches as Kath walks towards him at full speed.
Sweaty foreheads bump together, teenage hearts compete as to which is going to burst through their owner's chest first, feet dig into the tiles beneath them in despairate need of support as scarlet meets azure.
"Be clear as to what you're referring to you bastard." Kath bites at him, despairately trying to wet her mouth before she runs out of breath. She can feel her chest freezing, her quirk quickly taking advantage of her.
"Imagine being such an idiot that you can't even understand when someone says they like you!"
"How was that telling me you like me?"
"Don't answer me if it's not going to be a reply to what I said!"
"I'll beat your ass if you don't learn how to to be clear with what you want to say!"
"As if," he screamed "I'm going to blow you up and they'll need weeks to stich you back to together!"
"You practiced that line a lot Kacchan?"
Bakugo pressed his forehead on Kath harder, his vein being pushed by her forehead. "You're either going to accept that I like you or I'm going to punch you!"
Kath raised a shaking clenched fist to rest on Bakugo's forearm, his throbbing veins pumping so hard that she could feel them under her touch on him. Growling, she felt her stomach churn and her gut ache as her mind commanded her to spill what was at the tip of her tongue.
"Okay then what if I like you too!?"
Bakugo retreated, pulling his forehead back as he tried to fix his posture, his hands extended towards the blonde expecting to catch her the moment she'd trip from his sudden retreat. But of course, it never came. It made him chuckle, the bubbling sound coated by a sheer tint or his remaining fury. He liked how she pulled herself back, or how she fixed her posture by herself, never needing anyone to act as her safety net.
With his eyes glued into hers he dared to take a step closer, extendeding a hesitant hand to touch the underside of her chin. Kath stayed nonchalant and unresponsive on the outside, the tails of her eyebrows arching dangerously as she stared at him with an angered pout.
"Tch, your lips are fucking purple icicle idiot."
"They wouldn't be if you hadn't enraged me like this."
Still he was hesitant as in making another move towards her, the clock was out of sight meaning he couldn't check the time yet, so he had no idea if the room was about to be flooded with his classmates. Anything that he could initiate he had to do it now. Additionally, her chin was frozen, he recognised hoe she would get when her quirk would get the best of her, the dangerous ultraviolet color that tinted them. Maybe he needed to help her warm up.
Dammit his legs were shaking.
"For fucks sake stop looking at me. Kiss me already!"
"Shut up icecube!"
And thus in the most cliche ways of teenage romance frozen lips met fiery ones as grizzling smoke covered two sets of squint closed eyes.
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"Do you think we should separate them?" Midoriya asked, his emerald eyes gleaming with worry as they raced between the scene before him and Shoto.
"It's fine- just- let them be."
As Shoto tried to avert his gaze, his heart roared as it dripped to his stomach in full force. The numb feeling overtook him, but he masked it under his nonchalant expression.
Placing a hand on Midoriya's forearm, he shit him a knowing glare, his brow cocking upwards as he nodded to the opposite direction of the one which they were facing. Midoriya nodded in confirmation to his signal, taking the first leading step to the way back to the dorms. Shoto took a turn, not bothering to look behind despite how much he wanted to.
Your first heartbreak was something you would eventually look back to and feel a little pinch when thinking about how it hurt. But how did one get through it in the first place?
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magnumdays · 4 years ago
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Magnum PI 3.08 - Someone to Watch Over Me
Why am I such a sap and the end scene basically had me tearing up?
(Also why is the last scene now- some an hour later - the only thing I remember of the whole episode? Selective amnesia anyone?)
Anyhow, let’s take a breath and try to bring some thoughts back...
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We start off with our somewhat clingy “Higgy and Ethan acting like they’re in high school” scene... then progressing into being college students leaving a party to go hook up...
Which I mean...alright, at least we got interrupted with a phone call (also someone i having way too much fun with everyone personalizing their ring tones!)
Honestly, I kind of like Ethan at this moment. 
(When he’s leaving to go take care of a patient, like a good doctor, leaving Higgy all frustrated and ready to play poker and take everyone’s money!)
Then we get one of my favorite moments:
Higgy just casually walking into Magnum’s bedroom and poking him, trying to wake him, and then pouring some water on him to get the job done. I can’t imagine how much fun that was to film (well for Perdie at least).
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Anyhow, let’s run down the ep. 
Case of the week is finding Ethan’s dying patient before he...well... dies. 
Magnum/ Higgy are annoyed with each other because she’s trying to help with his sleeping problems  and he is upset she talked to Ethan about him. I kind of see both points of view but I fully agree with Magnum on the whole “What’s between us stays between us, cone of silence”. Which Higgy realizes is right too at the end and that gives us that fab #soft ending! 
Then there is also the side plot with the recruit and the painter girl from last season coming back and maybe being Rick’s love interest (which was on my season 3 wish list!! Yay! Well Rick having a GF/ some more female characters) 
It felt like there was just kind of a lot of things, or so it seemed to me, which meant I only focused on what I felt was most important. Which is Higgy and Magnum, Higgy and Ethan and kinda a bit on the case. 
The case for me was the weakest we’ve had for a few episodes. There was nothing wrong with it really. Some twists and turns, yadayada, feel good moment, take responsibility, at least you have each other... I liked it BUT wasn’t it a little hard to connect with? 
I wish they’d have shown us an actual picture of the person we were looking for at the start (rather than just his lung scans...). Given us a second where Ethan met him even? Or the two brothers taking care of on another in some way? It was like it took too long for me to actually care even though I felt pretty awful for the little kid getting shot, he didn’t feel connected to the adult dying missing character. Does that make sense?
Some of my favorite moments through out this was...
Higgy coming back to the poker table and everyone being just a little confused and then smug about it (presumably until she starts taking their money). 
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Magnum being sulky about being dragged along to help Ethan (well for a minute).
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TC being honorable and all about the right thing through out the ep.
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Higgy trying to explain why Magnum is wrong to be upset about her talking to Ethan about him...
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(I really liked this, because she’s all “YOU CAN’T BE MAD I CARE ABOUT YOU!” and I think she does have a point, even if you know it’s not really right -or in Ethan’s case, professional- of a thing to do, it is coming from a good place. She cares about Magnum. He isn’t doing anything about his sleeplessness and so she talks to the person she’s getting closer to who is also a doctor... I can see why to Higgy that makes sense.)
Continuation of this is the Abby-thing!
OMG, I love the Abby conversation. 
I love every single thing about it.
Juliet: Um, what did Abby know about me? 
Magnum: Huhm? 
Juliet: Well, you seem to have this issue with Ethan and I discussing you, but you and Abby were pretty serious there for a minute. And since it's absolutely normal to discuss your partner with your...partner. Surely I must have come up in conversation?
Magnum: No. Not at all.
Juliet: *surprised Pikachu face*
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(Okay, I tried to get a good screenshot of just how upset this makes her but I couldn’t. But I think she was actually genuinely surprised and hurt he hadn’t talked about her to Abby!)
Also is it weird I have a dream that I’ll one day find someone to stand next to and just have us look half as good as these two mange all the time?
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Moving on...
So yeah, we get a bit too much surgery/ hospital stuff there for my taste. I don’t know what was going on, like where they trying to show off Ethan’s doctor skills? Make us worried about the outcome? But honestly I’m not watching Grey’s Anatomy, I’m watching Magnum PI!
IDK, I for one would maybe have liked the guy to have died and the brother to have gone off the deep end and for the dad to have been a bit less remorseful and really have gone off the island and into hiding! Like an actual Not So Good ending for once? Perhaps the dad comes back to say goodbye before doing the right thing and going prison but his son is dead?
Because sure, I love me my happy ending and I’m glad that’s what we get most of the time but come on folks, once in a while you gotta throw some else in there. IDK, this was nice too, but maybe one out of 20 cases ONE should be a total fail?
This was a nice moment through.
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The most important question I have after this episode is however...
Is Rick not the bartender at La Marianna?
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Like I thought that was kind of what he did. Owner and bartender. Apparently not? (I mean I don’t really care if it means we’re getting Susie as a regular character, like come on, how can we have only 2 recurring female characters and 6 male ones?)
Also, not really a question but... can two people just be any more adorable together?
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Just look at that; two (NS)SM having a beer and being soft together... does life get any better than that really?
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lu-undy · 4 years ago
Text
Chapter 44 - SBT
Here it is!
"Hey L! Oh, M too? Cool! And hello you little baby…" 
Victoria squatted down to greet the fluffy white feline but as usual she hissed and her long, snow white hair spiked everywhere along her spine. 
"Perle…"
"Kitty cat…" 
Mundy scooped her off the floor and raised her in front of his face. 
"Listen here, kitty cat, you have to stop hissing at people."
"Meow?"
"No, this isn't nice for anyone. You're an adorable little baby, you can't go around hissin' at people."
"Meow…" 
"M is right." Lucien said and Perle's eyes went to him. "You are not a scared baby anymore, you have grown up to be a young lady. I taught you better manners than that. Now, say hello to V." 
Mundy turned the kitten to the young lady. Perle was sitting in his palms. She raised her head to Victoria who was waiting with anticipation. 
"Meow." 
"Good girl, there you go, it isn't that hard now, is it?" Mundy said and scratched her head.
"Je suis fier de toi, mon bébé." Lucien added and patted her.
[I am proud of you, my baby.]
"Aww, look at her listening to you guys…!" Victoria was smiling brightly. "Now, you can go and get your table, I'll be with you in a minute."
Both nodded and sat at their table. Mundy put Perle on his lap. 
"She listens to you as if you were speaking in meows." Lucien said. 
"Same with you, eh."
"I suppose so. Although I am raising her, so it does not surprise me that she obeys me, more or less."
Mundy chuckled. 
"Listen to you talk, you 'raise' her, eh?"
"Oui, she is my baby. But she also listens to you. Please do not destroy the education I have given her, Bushman." 
"Oi! I won't, unless you taught her rubbish."
"Rubbish?!" Lucien repeated. "You have seen her! Does it seem like I am raising her badly?" Lucien asked.
"Never in my life have I seen any animal wait on the pavement before crossin' the road, mate…" 
"Exactly! Her education is like none other!" 
Mundy smiled. 
"You're really proud of it, eh?" 
"Non, I am not proud of it. I am proud of her."
"Meow?" 
Two paws appeared at the edge of the table soon followed by fluffy white ears and the rest of the kitten's body. Perle had managed to climb to the table on her own. 
"Yeah, you can be." Mundy scratched her head. "She's a good baby girl." 
Lucien smiled sweetly as Perle purred under the Aussie's hand. 
"So, do we know what we're gonna have, gents'?" Victoria asked with a notepad in her hands. 
"M?"
"Can do with the pancakes like last time, unless you wanna change?" 
"Let us try something else." Lucien said. "What if we instead went for the crêpes?" 
"Isn't it the same as pancakes?" Mundy asked. 
"Bushman…" Lucien sighed. "Please, Victoria, two coffees, one large and one normal, and the crêpes to share. Also, some milk for Perle."
"Alright, be right back!" Victoria headed away.
"And Victoria?" 
"Yeah?" She stopped and came back to their table. Lucien gestured for her to get closer until Victoria was bending next to him. He whispered something in her ear and she nodded before turning on her heels and going away.
Perle resumed her war against paper towels. How her enemy dared reappear for each of her lunches was beyond her!
"Spooky secrets?" Mundy asked.
"Let me educate you, Mundy." Lucien cocked a playful eyebrow.
"Educate me? Well if that isn't arrogant now…?" Mundy crossed his arms on his chest. "Go ahead, Spook."
"Pancakes and crêpes are very different. As a matter of fact they don't even look similar. Your confusing them tells me that you have rarely if ever had a good crêpe."
"Yeah well… Not a national dish here, eh."
"Non indeed. But you will see, smell and taste the difference.”
“You’re awfully confident in that. What if I don’t find any difference?” Mundy removed his hat that he put on the table and smirked.
“Your palate is excellent. You will feel the difference, you are merely asking to hear a compliment from me." 
Mundy blushed as he smiled. 
"Yeah, well, I got it in the end, didn't I?" 
"Only because I indulged."
"Right, right, sorry your majesty." 
They exchanged a smile and Victoria re-appeared. 
"Large coffee?"
"For M." Lucien answered and Victoria put the mug in front of the Aussie.
"Ok then regular for you… And the crêpes for you both."
Victoria put a tray of crêpes and jams in the middle.
"Meow?" Perle's eyes went to the crêpes and she pricked her ears up.
"Nah, kitty cat, that's not for you…" Mundy said.
"Don't worry, I didn't forget your milk, Pearl here." Victoria put a dessert plate with milk in it. 
"Meow!" The kitten went straight to it. 
"Merci, V."
"Enjoy!" 
The waitress left the men and the cat alone.
"So, what do you think of the crêpes, visually?" Lucien asked.
Mundy observed them keenly.
"They do look a bit different from pancakes, I'll give you that. They seem thinner…"
"They indeed are. Do you know where they originate from?" Lucien took a crêpe and started spreading some jam on it. Mundy was way too busy trying to not make a fool of himself by staring too much at the man, and yet evading his impressive gaze each time their eyes met.
"No, where?" 
"La Bretagne."
"Where's that?"
"North-West of France."
"Ah, I see." 
"Here, try this." Lucien handed him the crêpe he had been busy with. He had rolled it nicely for his friend.
"Oh… Thanks." Mundy bit into it and his eyes snapped wide. 
"So, what do you taste?" 
"The crêpe itself is very good, not too sweet, maybe even less sweet than a pancake and… You put apricot jam in it?" 
"You told me it was your favourite." Lucien answered and Mundy looked down and away. 
"Y-yeah, yeah it is. I like apricots…" 
"I am sorry it is not your mother's unfortunately, but I hope you will find it to your taste, Mundy." 
"No, no, it's fine. Actually it's very good, goes very well with the coffee too. Thanks, Lucien… really." 
"My pleasure."
"What jam d'you like?" Mundy asked, wanting to repay the favour. 
"I prefer honey. I am not one who is known to enjoy sweetness, but right now, it wouldn't hurt me."
"Right…" Mundy put his crêpe on his plate and got busy with another one for his friend. "Here, that's for you."
"Merci."
"It's nothing." 
They both enjoyed their crêpes and were way too absorbed in each other to notice Victoria watching them from afar. She saw them eat slowly, their eyes looking at each other while each trying not to be seen by the other. She smiled. There was something satisfying in seeing L grin like an idiot, something quite funny too. She had never seen him like that, he always looked so prim, so serious even. But now he was relaxed, it was obvious. 
"Meow?" 
"Perle, tu manges n'importe comment, mon bébé." 
[Perle, you eat with such bad manners.]
Perle tried to lick her mouth off the milk but as always, she wasn't able to clean it all off. 
"Here, baby cat." Mundy wiped her mouth with a paper towel and scratched under her jaw, to which she purred.
"She did not hiss?" Lucien asked. 
"Why would she?" 
"She hates it when I wipe her mouth."
"Show me how you do it." 
Lucien took a paper towel and did it in front of Mundy to which Perle immediately reacted with a hiss. 
"See?" Lucien said. 
"It's cause you press too much on her whiskers. Take the paper towel again, I'll show you…"
Lucien obeyed. 
"Now, cats don't see very well from up close. They see through what they feel on their whiskers. Any movement that disturbs their whiskers, they'll understand it as a potential threat that's very close to them. Here, let me help…"
Mundy pushed Lucien's hand on Perle's muzzle again. 
"And scratch her somewhere she likes at the same time, to calm her down. Touching all her whiskers at the same time and pushing them down on her face is like blinding her vision from her close, like… like… As if I put a blindfold on you!"
Lucien raised a surprised eyebrow. 
"I mean…" Mundy looked left and right, his face turned crimson. "You get the point, right? Wipe her down gently, like that and - and scratch somewhere she likes, to soothe her, eh…"
Lucien chuckled. 
"I understand. Thank you for the lesson. You are very knowledgeable on cats."
"Yeah, well… I just love animals."
"And it seems that they love you back."
Perle was brushing her head on Mundy's hand repeatedly while purring. Both men took a sip of their coffee.
"Yeah, it's always been like that. Animals are easier than people." Mundy was staring at Perle, scratching her gently. "Animals are very simple. They need a good home and good food, and that's about it. No complicated things, no lyin', no trying to manipulate you or anything."
"I am sorry." Lucien answered, taking it personally. 
"No, I'm not just saying that about you. Everyone's like that. No one says what they really think, no one does what they really want…"
Perle went to Mundy's hat and jumped inside. She curled up there and laid down, still purring even though no one was petting her. 
"And it's tiring to try and understand people, y'know? And even when people are straight with you, you might end up never getting along with them…"
"It sounds like you are thinking about someone in particular, Mundy."
The Aussie raised distraught eyes to Lucien before looking at Perle who fell asleep in his hat. 
"My dad." 
"Oh, you did not get along with him?"
"No. And I never got the chance to, before he died. Now I feel like he…"
"He returned to his creator still holding a grudge against you?" Lucien asked.
Mundy couldn't raise his eyes to the Frenchman. 
"I'm sorry." He stood up and walked out of the diner. Lucien stared at his tall, hatless silhouette, his back slouched and his arms wrapped around himself. 
"He's gone?" Victoria had appeared next to Lucien. 
"I think he needs a minute." Lucien answered, both of them looking at Mundy jump in his van through the diner's front windows.
The front lights of the van lit up suddenly and Lucien frowned. 
"Is he…?" Victoria started but the noise of the engine and the sight of the van driving away made Lucien stand up to his feet in a flash.
"Merde…" 
[Shit…]
"What did you say to him?" Victoria looked at Lucien who grabbed his friend's hat with the kitten inside. 
"Too much or not enough apparently. Here, for the meal, you may keep the change." Lucien exited the restaurant and ran to see at least which direction Mundy's van took. 
He couldn't see it in the distance and the sun setting did not help his vision, already blurred by his distress. 
"Merde…" 
[Shit…]
Lucien called a taxi and made his way back home. When he hit his hotel room, he was still frowning and his brain was boiling. He shouldn't have asked, he shouldn't have pushed Mundy. But he didn't even push him! He had just… cared?
Well apparently caring had been too much for the solitary hunter who then needed some alone time. 
"Meow?"
Lucien was on the sofa and he had put Mundy's hat next to him, with Perle in it. As she woke up, she raised her head off of it and looked left and right.
"Meow?"
"Si tu le cherches, il n'est pas là."
[If you are looking for him, he isn't here.]
Perle hopped off the hat and started sniffing it and around it. She walked around it and scratched the sofa below the hat, as if Mundy could be underneath and she just needed to dig him up. 
"Meow?"
She mewled a few times, calling out for him but soon understood that he wasn't hidden underneath the hat. She went to her master and climbed on his lap where she laid down. 
"Meow…"
Lucien scratched her and a long while passed before she started purring. 
"Meow?"
"Je crois qu'il a besoin d'être seul."
[I think he needs some time alone.]
"Meow." Perle contradicted him. 
"Et même si je voulais le trouver, je ne saurai pas où chercher."
[And even if I wanted to find him, I wouldn't even know where to start looking.]
Lucien sighed and held the bridge of his nose. 
"Meow!"
"Oui mais comment? Comment je peux le trouver lui qui peut être au milieu du désert?"
[Yes but how? How can I find him when he could even be in the middle of the desert?]
Perle stood up on her back legs and started kneading Lucien's stomach through his shirt. 
"Meow." 
He frowned and fell deep in thought. The man could be anywhere in Australia. He knew the place so well he could even be in a cave that no one else had found before him!
"Meow…?"
Lucien looked down at Perle's pleading eyes. 
"Tu l'aimes bien?"
[You do like him?]
The kitten brushed her head on Lucien's shirt. 
"Je prends ça pour un oui."
[I take it as a yes.]
He scratched her below her jaw and she closed her eyes.
"Meow…?"
It was the same slightly long mewl. It sounded like she was pleading with her voice. Lucien sighed. 
"D'accord, je vais essayer."
[Fine, I will try.]
He stood up and put Perle in the cardboard box that she liked so much before taking his friend's hat and exiting the suite. 
Lucien hopped on his motorcycle and went to Victoria's diner again, hoping that Mundy would at least come back for his hat. But non, after asking Victoria, Mundy hadn't returned to the place. 
"Fine." 
Lucien straddled his motorcycle again and drove slowly in town, aimlessly. He was trying to imagine where the Aussie would find solace. 
Red traffic light. 
Lucien stopped and put a foot on the ground. 
Où es-tu...? Où es-tu...? Où es-tu…? Où es-tu…?
[Where are you…? Where are you…? Where are you…? Where are you…?]
The question banged against the walls of his head repeatedly, relentlessly, his mind projected the vision of that sweet, shy smile, of the cheeks with the hideous sideburns turning pink… 
Green traffic light. 
Lucien dashed through the night. There was one person who could know where Mundy was. 
"Maurice?" 
"Ah, L." 
Lucien had left his motorcycle with a few beggars outside, the kids being asleep at that hour. 
"How may I help you?" The king of the beggars asked. 
"I am looking for M."
"I sent him looking for you a few days ago and now you return looking for him. Has he not found you?" 
"Oui, he did. But now I need to, well, need to might be a bit of a stretch, but I would like to have a word with him. Do you know where I could find him?" 
"I have a few leads, yes."
"I am all ears." Lucien got closer to the table and laid his hands down flat on it. 
"There is a lake he likes to go to. It is far from here, it will take you an hour or so to get there if you drive fast."
"Where is it?" 
Maurice gestured one of his men who brought a map in and spread it on the table. 
"We are here. This building here is your hotel." 
"Oui."
"You will have to drive South outside the city." Maurice's finger slid on the motorway down the map. "And follow this road all the way to this big lake here. It's surrounded by a forest so you should see the landscape turn from desert to trees."
"Understood."
"Once you get to the forest, go deep inside. The lake should be there."
"Fine. Thank you Maurice." 
"My pleasure." 
The king of the beggars hadn't lied. Lucien drove for a long while through the empty desert. His thoughts continued to roll like the wheels of his motorcycle on the black asphalt. When Lucien started seeing trees and their shadows under the moonlight, he switched the driving mode to silent. 
And mon Dieu, Francis didn't lie. It was as silent as if Lucien wasn't driving at all! 
The Frenchman followed a pathway deeper into the forest, still on his motorcycle. The trees were tall and their foliage hid the moonlight quite well. The only beams making it through the dense leaves were barely enough for Lucien to see. But soon, the gloomy trees made way for the open lake. It was calm and not a sound could be heard apart from the occasional rustling of the branches and leaves of the trees behind him now. 
"Ah." 
Finally, the van. 
The Frenchman slowed down. The lights were on inside but Lucien didn't hear a sound coming from it. He parked next to it and turned the motorcycle invisible after putting the helmet on it. He grabbed Mundy's hat that he had brought with him and put it on his own head, to not forget it.
Lucien peeked through one of the windows of the van but there was no sign of the Aussie. 
"Où diable es-tu…?"
[Where the hell are you…?]
He looked around the van and ended up facing the lake again. 
"Qu'est-ce que…? Non…"
[What the…? No…]
On the surface of the water, something shone and reflected the moonlight in Lucien's eyes. The Frenchman squinted and realised that Mundy was in fact bathing there. He was quite far from the shore and he seemed to be washing himself as his movements showed. 
Lucien then looked around him and saw a towel on one of the rocks on the shore. 
"Hm." He decided to wait for him with a cigarette, and sat down a bit further away. He didn't want to disturb the Aussie at all. 
And so he watched. All he could see was the water reflecting the moonlight and dripping along Mundy's shoulders, his chest and his overall silhouette. Lucien smiled. The Aussie had a very pleasant silhouette to the eye… He was tall, his shoulders were a bit larger than his own and quite lean. 
Lucien tilted his head on the side and crossed his legs. Oui, he very much enjoyed the view… 
But not once did it occur to him that Mundy had felt the same way when he had fished him out of his bathtub and changed his clothes. Non. 
For now, all of Lucien's thoughts were on the body of the man who helped him find peace and fall asleep at night. The thought of him was just soothing. And his voice… Lord, his voice…!
Lucien finished his cigarette. He crushed it and waited but soon, Mundy emerged out of the water and wiped himself dry. When he finished, he wrapped the towel around his waist and felt something land on his still damp hair. 
"What the hell?!" He spun on his heels and saw Lucien, as prim as always with a suit and tie looking at him. "Spook?! What the bloody hell are you doing here?"
Mundy wrapped his arms around himself prudely and hunched his back.
"Giving you back your hat."
"How long have you been here?" Mundy looked around them and relaxed slightly seeing that Lucien hadn't brought anyone else with him.
"A few minutes." 
"Yeah, well, a bit longer, isn't it?" Mundy said. 
"Perhaps."
"Right, give a minute, I need to put on some clothes." 
"Of course." And in his head the Frenchman cursed, wishing the Aussie would stay bare chested, just for his visual delight… 
When Mundy re-appeared a few minutes later, Lucien had lit a fire and was sitting in front of it. 
"Look at you, city man, y'know how to light a fire?" 
"Need I remind you that I have served in the army? Those are things we had to learn." Lucien answered. "Do you have something to grill?"
"No, but I can hunt for it." 
Lucien raised an eyebrow. 
"Need I remind you that I'm a hunter?" Mundy mocked him.
"I thought you only hunted poachers." 
"And food." Mundy completed. He went into his van again and emerged with a bow and a quiver full of arrows. "Gimme a few minutes." Mundy started heading away.
"Don't be too long, please." 
The Aussie turned to Lucien. 
"Afraid of the dark?" 
"Non. Afraid of solitude." 
Their eyes met and the Aussie nodded. 
"Don't worry. I won't be long." 
Lucien was left alone for a bit more than ten minutes. He was taking care of the fire, making sure it wouldn't die out. He went inside the Aussie's van and found two foldable chairs. He put them outside. He also found glasses and a bottle of water. 
When Mundy came back, he was surprised to see Lucien on a chair, without his jacket or tie. 
"Again, Spook, would it kill you to ask me before touching my stuff?" 
Lucien smirked. 
"It would not. But you like my surprises." 
Mundy chuckled and came closer to the Frenchman. He grabbed a bucket that was lying next to the van and took a seat on the chair next to him. 
"So, what did you catch in so little time?" Lucien asked. "A mouse maybe?" 
"Pff, a little faith, Spook. Here." 
"Oh, a rabbit." 
"A hare." 
"Aren't they the same?" Lucien asked. 
"Look, as much as a pancake is different from a crêpe, a hare is different from a rabbit." 
"Is it so?" Lucien smirked at Mundy quoting him on the crêpe and pancakes. 
"Yeah." Mundy took the kukri off of his belt and cut the rabbit's head clean and let it bleed in the bucket. "Right, if you're so full of surprises - oh?"
Lucien was holding a cigarette in front of Mundy's lips. The Aussie crossed his eyes to see it. He did not hesitate long and shifted closer to him and grabbed it with his lips. 
"Thanks." 
"My pleasure. But you were saying…?"
"If you're so full of surprises…" The rabbit didn't drip blood anymore. "Show me what you can do with this, eh?" Mundy handed him the hare. 
"With pleasure, just an instant if you please." 
Mundy watched as Lucien removed his gloves and rolled up his sleeves before taking the hare off Mundy's hands. 
"Here." Mundy handed him the kukri. 
"Please." Lucien refused it and slipped a hand in his vest pocket. He flipped a butterfly knife open and smirked, his lips holding another cigarette. 
"As you like." Mundy said and he stood up to go to his van. As he went there, he put a hand on the Frenchman's shoulder. Lucien smiled. He then took a good look at the animal before proceeding in silence. 
He opened him up and gutted him out, making sure that any drop of blood would end up in the bucket Mundy had brought. Then he carefully skinned the little beast and finally proceeded to cut it in small pieces. Front legs, back legs… 
When Mundy reappeared, he put an old pan on the fire and his eyebrows jumped when Lucien put the parts of the rabbit on it.
"You're not half as bad as I thought you were, eh." 
"You do not put a lot of faith in me, Bushman." 
The bits of rabbit were sizzling nicely. 
"Pff… O'course I do. I'm just surprised you know  how to deal with a beast, eh. Do they teach you about that at spooky school?"
"Spooky school?" Lucien chuckled. 
"Y'know, whatever school you've been to become a spy." Mundy chuckled with him. 
"Well, they did teach us about anatomy, but it was for humans. Rabbits are not that different."
"Again, it's a hare. Pay attention, Spook." Mundy nudged him with his elbow playfully and Lucien smiled. 
"My apologies, Professor Bushman, hares are not that different from us humans." 
"Better, you're makin' progress by the minute. Here, that's done." Mundy handed Lucien one of the legs.
"Merci. Well, the teacher isn't all so bad."
"Let me tell you - hm, nicely grilled - you won't find anyone better than me to hunt and track down prey in all of Oz." 
"I can easily believe it." 
"Here, have a bite at this, it's well cooked and very juicy." Mundy put the leg he was eating from in front of Lucien's mouth. "Come on, I don't have scabies, take a bite." 
"You don't have scabies but you are not the cleanest man I have ever met, Bushman."
"What are you talking about? I just took a shower when you came here. I'm as clean as you are, if not more." 
"Pff, I wish…!"
"You've seen me scrub myself and stuff… you stalker." 
Lucien smirked and bit in the rabbit leg that Mundy had been holding in front of his mouth. The Aussie smiled back. 
"So, juicy, eh?" 
"Oui, you are right." 
"Told ya."
"Have a bite at mine. A bit less juicy but a bit harder on the outside, I like it." 
Lucien held his rabbit leg out and Mundy raised a mocking eyebrow. 
"Sure I can have a bite?"
"Oui." 
"Sure I don't need to disinfect m'self?"
"Bushman…"
"No, no, really you sure? Cause I could get some alcohol and rub it everywhere eh, that ought to-"
"Mundy…" 
"Right, right." 
He took a bite. 
"Yeah, quite a bit harder but nicely grilled on the outside."
"I told you so, mon ami."
"Mon ami?" Mundy repeated as he put down the bones of his rabbit leg. 
"That means-" Lucien started.
"My friend." Mundy cut him. "I'm your friend?" 
"Oui, I think so." 
"What does the rank of friend grant me, eh?" Mundy quoted Lucien back on what he told him when he had called him "mate". 
"Well, first, you have unlocked the privilege of knowing my name, Mundy." Lucien poured water in the two glasses and handed one over to his friend. 
"Yeah, true, thanks."
"And the burden of my company."
"Oh, c'mon, you're a bit grumpy at times, but not too bad." Mundy teased. 
"A bit grumpy?!" Lucien repeated. 
"And sensitive at that." 
"And sensitive?!" 
"Yup, definitely." 
"Bushman-!"
Mundy burst out laughing. 
"Oh God… I haven't had a good mate to laugh with in years… But tell me, Spook…"
"Hm?"
"Why did you come out here in the middle of the bloody night?" 
Lucien raised his eyes to Mundy, and the Aussie saw the two drops of ice shine under the moonlight. 
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